Everyday

Always, somehow, not a day passes without a thought of him. Even during the nights, I dream of things I yearn and I wake up smiling, only to realize that it is what it is - a dream. I know every time I say I'm feeling better, I kind of fall back to a low for a few days, but I'm still going to say it. I do feel better. Enjoying every second of release though there's still a hint of pain. Getting used to it doesn't mean it's good, I agree, but at least it's better than nothing.

Christmas is coming.

I wish I was only thinking too much and that he doesn't (intensely) dislike me or anything of that sort. Please, please, please. I know it's my fault and I don't harbour any thoughts of talking to him anymore. I just want forgiveness, for a stupid mistake I made. Is it possible...