Memory - a dream

Dating really doesn't mean anything, I'm just naive enough.

I remember he was sitting beside me and talking. I looked at him momentarily, then stood up and straddled him. He was surprised. "Why?" he asked. "So that I can get you fully," I replied. Then I just held him that way, just sat on his lap and hugged him. Didn't tell him I didn't want to let go. I couldn't believe I was holding somebody and that person was holding me back. This only happened to me in dreams. At that time I tried to commit every second to memory, trying to remember the way he felt and the way he smelt. I outlined the letters on the back of his singlet as a form of distraction to what I was doing. Haha, didn't know why I did that either. I didn't know how long things would stay this way before it was over, whether by me or something else. So I sat there, wishing and hoping that I didn't have to leave and I could hold him just a little while longer, enjoy that moment a while longer. But I knew I had to go because he needed to study for his exams. So I bent down and kissed him quickly then I stood up to leave. He was surprised at that kiss yet again and asked why. I didn't answer. I just felt like I wanted to do that. Then we were at the door and I looked at him again. I wanted to hold him again but I didn't. Just turned, walked down the steps and went home. Never went back there again, if I'm not wrong.

It was all so long ago. Last night I was thinking of it when tears came to my eyes. I don't think it was because it hurt inside, I was crying more for the memory.