Pricked - results are out

Well I think it's confirmed now. 3 weeks ago we went for the blood test and now the results are out - It's my father and my brother who have alpha thalassaemia minor while my mom and I are in the clear. So that's a grand total of 3 in our family who has it. If you think about it, I'm really very lucky. I've been kind of lucky all my life. Blessed, perhaps? I have minor problems, but never escalating into severe. With my sister for sure with the blood disorder, there were only 2 possibilities left:

1) One of my parents + my brother or me have the disorder, the other kid will be fine
2) One of my parents have the disorder and both my brother and I are fine.

And it has to be the first case, with me in the clear.

Not sure how to describe how I feel now either. Not exactly disappointed nor elated. Just that thinking of my brother and how he'll do in the army and of so many things that he can't do inside, a bit heartache for him. Not to mention that I feel kind of guilty (like my mom also feels kind of guilty) because I feel that he ought not to have this, instead it should be me. I don't think I really deserve such a blessed life though I'm really glad that I have it. I mean like, I kind of have all the bad personality traits while my brother kind of has the better ones, so why is it that he has the disorder and not me? Does life always work this way? That the good one will always face more challenges? Actually even before the results were out, before we took the blood test, I kind of expected that I'd be equally lucky this time round. Not extreme luck, you know, just blessed with the health. Yes, the disorder isn't exactly serious but still...

Not sure, kind of wish that it's the other way round, that it is me who has it and not my brother.