I give up

I'm so fed up. Can't tell what is what and which is which anymore. Can't tell if I'm right, can't tell if I'm wrong. Can't tell what others are thinking, can't tell what I'm thinking. Can't tell what I did right, can't tell what I did wrong. Can't tell if I infer too much, can't tell if it's true.

All I fucking want is to be fucking normal. I just want to be fucking normal friends. I just want to be friends, that's all I want and somehow I can't have that. Dammit, I try and try and fucking try but it don't seem to matter, my effort don't seem to matter. Nothing seems to matter. Maybe I did something wrong, I don't know anymore and frankly, I don't care anymore.

I give up. Maybe I'm trying too hard to make things normal. I can't breathe, lost my self-esteem. I don't even know why I'm doing this. *shrug* Forget it. Forget what's right, who's wrong and what should be done. Maybe one day in the future I'll try again to make things normal, to regain a friend, but right now I'm simply too tired with it. From this moment on, this person don't matter, don't exist.