Goal(s)

In order to... knock some sense into myself and to become... normal again, I have decided to set goals for myself. Here's my first one:

Start doing what I like again and concentrate only on the things that I am doing.

Though suicide crosses my mind, I know it's stupid. Every time I think of it, I tell myself I'm not going to do it, that this phase will pass with time, it WILL pass. That if I kill myself, if things can get better, I'm never going to experience it. Haha, easy and nice as it sounds, actually it never really convinces me. I just know that I can't and I won't do it. I will live, no matter if I can breathe through it or not. That's my second goal - keep living.

ARGGGHHHH!!!