Inferiority

Was talking to JY just now when she asked if I'd feel inferior. I jumped at that word immediately because that was what exactly described how I felt. Inferior. Then when you feel inferior, you feel depressed. Don't want to talk about being depressed. I feel perfectly fine now and because another of my goal is to enjoy every second that I feel normal, I am doing that. It feels really good to be normal. Don't know if any of you understand what I'm saying, the marvel of being normal and ordinary and feeling like life has a meaning. Not that I'd know what is the meaning of life, but feeling that as if life is rich and... I'll just put it as "not constantly wanting to die and vanish". Any time you don't think of dying and not feeling depressed/upset is good. You should be happy if you aren't upset or depressed and feel that there is always so much you can do. In the past, to me it is these little bits of freedom between extremely long (when I say long, I mean really long) periods of depression that I really treasure and really yearn. Now I experience normality more than being upset and I do what all of us do - take it for granted. Being normal is a good thing, being happy is a great thing. Often we don't know how great they are until you've lost them and the taste of it tempts you again that you know you really want it back. Never underestimate feelings of happiness and self-worth.

I use the word "depressed" because it isn't only being upset. It's a whole lot of stuff combined together and I couldn't find a better word for it.

I found a really nice skirt today. =)