Giving it up

I am going to try and resist though the temptation is damn great. It's frustrating. I feel like a caged bird, only that even if I got out of the cage, I would still be enclosed in a cage though the cage is now invisible or just far bigger. Think of a cage within another cage.

In actual fact though, if I allow myself to be caged, it might be good because of the advantages I have - food and water, yet I lose the freedom. On the other hand, if I am free to venture where I wish, go where I want, then there is the problem of finding food and the risk of not surviving.

What I feel frustrating about is that I have tasted that freedom when I once did not, and now I am to give up that freedom again. It isn't literally "freedom" or "bounded" in my case, but the analogy is the same.

Yet to give up this habit/hobby of mine is, I guess, for my own good.

Sigh. Do I really have to?