Perverted quotes

On MSN with friend,

"Hey, what's up?"

"My dick."

With same friend, talking about my running nose,

friend: Just put a plug in it
me: Wait it explode, or I breathe it in, or it get stuck how!
friend: hahaha
friend: you have to learn the blowjob technique, how to get it in but not too deep
me: .........