Frustrated

Frustrated. Exhausted. Helpless.

I heard there will be some sort of penalty if I don't finish the questionnaires. They didn't even tell us that in the beginning! I am ready to give up and pay the penalty because it is extremely difficult to find anybody who is willing to be interviewed and I'm seriously extremely exhausted. I feel tired just standing in the train, feel tired SMS-ing others to ask if I can interview them, SMS-ing others to help me ask others for me. Feel so paiseh also. I feel tired whenever I'm not walking or doing something. After work I still have to meet people to conduct the interviews. Then I still need to come up with some design stuff for the carnival. If I'm tired, I have to hide it. If I'm frustrated, irritated, helpless, I have to hide it all. I have to laugh it off and look positive, feel positive, think positive. HOW??

And although I know I have no right to be angry, I still am sometimes angry when people reject doing the interview. It's really quite pointless to feel the way I do. I think one of the reasons why I'm pissed is because of the way I am rejected. I'm sick of apologizing. I'm apologizing to the extent to which "sorry" has no more meaning.

I used to think I can really do it, do all of these. But now how do I not give up? How do people persist on and on? I just want to collapse and get some sleep but there seem to be no time for that even.

There's this volcano-like thingy inside me which seems ready to erupt any time. Maybe I just need some sleep.

On the other hand, I'm really thankful and grateful to those who agree to allow me to interview them. Really thank you very much.

If I have time to be even blogging, I'd better get down to designing that logo. After that I can sleep. Talk again another day.