Pyramid. Circle.

tstar is...

Exhausted.

What we become, what things become, what we see, what people notice (or don't), everything is built on everything else. Everything depends on everything. Everything is essential, even seemingly unimportant processes, because everything leads to something else, everything is the basis for something else. As such, what we have at hand, what we are given the opportunities to work with, they are all important - small, important steps leading to the larger picture. When we fail at one step, think it is unimportant, feel it is too troublesome to continue - it can pull down the next step, sometimes we cannot advance or we advance unsteadily and sometimes we simply give up.

But how much can I give? How much can I take? How much is too much? Is there a limit?

Imagining things to be in bite-size pieces makes things manageable. For a while it was easy to do that. Seemingly scary tasks become easily managed because everything was simply to look at what I have at hand, what I have control over and what I can do. Suddenly my options opened and my world was a lot bigger. There are a hundred possible ways to get to the same destination. Work, however, has seemed to revert me. Or perhaps over time, the need to maintain that outlook has decreased. Once-were obstacles are now obstacles again. Stress comes back - no more bite-size pieces. I'm starting to stutter (a hell lot more) again when I talk.

The new me was in control. The old me was lost and insecure. I don't like the old me.