Introduction, point 1

Aware that I haven't been blogging frequently for the past few days. Lack of time, energy and attention. As such, there is an accumulated stack of ideas and items to share which at this point, I am unable to remember. All that I can remember now are 3 things:

1) chat with my cousin,
2) yesterday,
3) gaining insight and feeling relief.

I figure if I can't remember, then it isn't important. Posts following this will dwell on these points. Point 1 shall be here.

Cousin asked me out for a chat suddenly today. When she says that she is angry, she is angry. And today she is angry, upset, disappointed, feeling helpless, depressed and scared. Just learnt today that her friends read my blog too so I will not choose to elaborate anymore. If she wishes to expose things, she will, at her own pace and own way and only to those whom the matters concern.

In some ways, I really feel that I am far more naive than her because I see almost everything and everybody's actions without an underlying meaning. Recently though I have been learning to look at things differently. Somehow she gets all the bad stuff - the back stabs, hypocrites, changing friends and waning friendships. Maybe I'm just a lot more blind. In any case I hope that she will find the strength and courage to go on and eventually find a way to deal with the problems that she is facing.

Remember that whatever the case, however you might feel at that point, you must always recall that suicide is not what you want. No matter how depressed you are or how tempting things are, you must not do it. Even if you do not have the will, you have to force yourself to muster the will to turn yourself away from it. If you are going to do anything like that, REMEMBER MY FACE! My red, pimply face! And imagine the word "NO" on my forehead. OKAY?! Understand?