Loving another

My friends would fall in love, love, love even more, and then fall out of love. Sometimes their relationships never started, sometimes they have lasted for 2 years, 3 years, 4 years. Then when they write, there is so much anguish in those words that I can feel it spilling out of the screen and into me.

They cry, they mourn and lament. Then they stand up again, wiped away those tears and slowly recover.

When I see them, they'd smile and laugh like everything's alright once again. I hope it's true. They're strong enough to go through it. I'd look at them and wonder how they do it, allow themselves to fall in love, surrender their heart and emotions to another's will at the risk of getting hurt in the end. How can they trust so deeply? I admire them.

Then I seriously wonder if I will ever experience that sensation of loving somebody, loving without obsession, just loving him. I wonder if I'll learn to trust another with my heart and have enough courage to accept another's heart.

Will this person ever appear? Does he exist? If he does, who is he? Do I know him already? When will I meet him? What do I do? Will he love me? Can I love him? Will he teach me how to? Will he wait for me? Please wait for me. Sometimes I feel so lonely I'd talk to him in my head. Hey, did you see how that bird caught its meal? Isn't it fascinating? Hey dear, how are you? I miss you, wish you were here. Then I'd catch myself doing that and laugh inwardly.

I don't know who you are, but I think I can love you.