Pre-party woes

I look okay on the outside, but I'm quite a wreck on the inside. I have got tons of work uncompleted and I really would like to sleep. My party's tomorrow and most of the stuff are prepared - thank goodness for my wonderful aunt. Now I only hope people actually do turn up tomorrow at about the same time.

Actually I just hope people do turn up. I've never realized how scary it is to prepare and prepare then fear that people start calling you to say that they can't attend. Last night my junior Jiaxing told me he is going to attend a mutual friend's birthday party instead. Then NTT also MSNed me to say that he is on standby on Saturday so might not be able to turn up. On Tuesday, CJ asked me if my party's on Friday, Saturday or Sunday, then told me he cannot attend. Just moments ago, an AJ percussionist Nicholas called to tell me he might not be able to make it because his project group just scheduled another meeting tomorrow which might drag. I understand they are all valid reasons and it's really alright, just that it starts to strike you that perhaps you have prepared a little too much food, too many tables, too many chairs... Most importantly, however, people I've asked to turn up are those I would really like to celebrate this (oh-so-dammit-joyous) occasion with, spend some time with, catch up with and simply to thank them for having made a difference in my life, so I can't help but feel a little disappointed. For some, I wonder when will be the next time I will see them again. At another mutual friend's birthday? And when is that? A couple of weeks? Months? Years?

Oh so touching, I will make everybody eat more tomorrow. Don't resist me if I try to put raw fish, chicken, mushroom, fishballs, vegetables and whatever-is-available on your plate before cooking it.

If you are coming tomorrow and by some strange twist of fate (I forgot to tell you that details, but that don't mean you are not important ok. I simply kept pushing back the time to remind people - blame my sociology sex research) you do not know yet the time and place, it's 6.30pm at my house (email or twitter or SMS me for the address) and I'm having steamboat. Steamboat is only fun when there are lots and lots of people so I hope people do turn up at approximately the same time. If there aren't enough people to fill up a table I'll starve you all until there are enough people ok.

Oh come on, I'm so nice, how can I bear to starve you all. If you all wait willingly and say you are really very full because you had lunch not long ago then how can I starve you?

Alright, full of lame shit. I promise I'll blog better stuff when next week's over.