Think Big - Quote; Following

Follow the tugs that come from the heart. I think that everyone gets these gentle urges and should listen to them. Even I they sound absolutely insane, they may be worth going with.

– Victoria Moran

Last night my mother said that I should not have studied Psychology because there is nothing to do in Singapore and that one has to go overseas for further studies to practice it.

Hurt and angry, I indignantly told her that I wanted to study it. She got pissed off with my response. What was I supposed to answer then? Answer with a nod? I'm very stubborn, when I think I'm right, I really think I'm right. When I was younger, I already knew that I wanted to study Psychology. I have no idea how I knew, can't remember when it was either. But the moment I knew there was such a thing, I knew I would be studying that. Choosing which faculty to enter in University thus was never difficult although I came from a science background and my grades allowed entry into faculties with a science-basis.

Veering away a bit, if I told you now that Psychology is really a science, would you believe it? Or would you raise doubts? How can a course studying human behaviour, as varied as it is, be a science? It is because we have theories and models, we have statistics, we conduct experiments, we try to be as "clean" and "science" as possible in analysis. You'd be surprised at how human behaviour can be really standard at times, how things can be explained step-by-step. Yet despite its rigidity, there is flexibility within. At times when it is flexible, it is really flexible. From "error size" in statistics we move to continuums, where mental disorders cannot always be classified, where patients have such varied symptoms, criteria typically set and agreed on are but a gauge and not to be taken word for word.

A talk with senior Alvin left me fairly clear as to what I should do and where I should be headed. I have wasted time and paid little attention to my studies, I realize now how important this is to me. Mine is a specialized field and if I'm studying it, then I might as well go all the way. Wow, the realization sure came late. Right now I don't know what I can achieve, don't know what will happen, don't know how far I can go with my grades. All I know is that I can't stop my studies at Bachelor's or Honours level. I don't know if I can achieve it. Frankly, I doubt my own abilities and I fear that I will never get to further my studies, instead reduced to the same status as everybody else, keeping to a (mostly) 9 to 5 routine with an hour lunch break or so. Have I ever mentioned how I hate the smell on my clothes after coming back from lunch break after work?

Something inside me is telling me this is not the end yet. Ok, let's see how far I can go.