I need to know why and how

I know I said that I'd be on hiatus but I am simply too upset and overflowing with emotions.

How I feel now is not because I like him, it is not because I want to stick to him, it is not because I want to harass him or see him or anything like that. I just want to talk to him and to have him talk to me. I don't care if it is to scold me, to tell me how horrible I am, how much he hates me and don't want to see me anymore. Right now I just want him to acknowledge my presence and talk back to me as he would to a normal person. I want a single hi.

I wish he would come in and read this post. I wish he would understand why the fuck I'm feeling so upset. I wish he even slightly cared, or have a little tiny bit of guilt in him or curiosity to want to come in and read a little because I don't know how to get it across to him anymore.

I want him to know that I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE. Did you see that? It's in capitals in case he just decided to glimpse past this post even for a moment. Read this, dammit, read it!

I'm so upset and frustrated not because I still like him in that way. This is the disappointment you get when you expect more from a person than what he gave you and this is the helplessness you feel when you know you cannot do anything about it all. This is also the fear that all of this stems from you. This is the fear from 2 very unsuccessful non-relationships.

Is this how you deal with things? When I asked you about your previous relationships, you only said you don't know and you can't remember. Is this what happened? I'm curious. Because I don't see how any good can come out of ignoring a person. What are you thinking about? How are you perceiving it all? I want to know. Why can't two persons who find out they cannot be together be friends? What do you see things as? Why are you doing this? Is it because you simply do not see the need to talk to me at all? Not even the basic courtesy hi? Why? I really want to know. Please, talk to me.

Besides disappointment is this huge curiosity. I want to know how he thinks about it. No, I need to know, I desperately need to know.

I believe he is a nice guy. Then why? There must be something I am not seeing, something I do not understand. Person-I-once-knew, will you please read this post, will you please tell me why?