of Boys, relationships and all things nice (sorta)

What is the one thing you wish your boyfriend would do for you or if you don't have a boyfriend, substitute it with a boy who's wooing you or just some other boy.

I have a couple of things I would really like to experience but one of them is already fulfilled so here's one that I would really like.

I would really, really like to receive a single stalk of flower from a guy who isn't giving me flowers because I'm performing in some concert or other but giving it to me because he wants me to be happy. I'd like him to just pop up with a flower and surprise me. I've seen others with bouquets and with their boyfriends and holding hands, happy and all, talking away and I just wonder how it feels like, having somebody.

The wish that I said was fulfilled was really sweet and I hope to always remember it. That spontaneity. Holding me because he wanted to hold me, holding me first instead of me holding him first. It was the sweetest thing I'd ever experienced. I don't think I can thank him enough for making me feel wanted in that sense.

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My wish is to get married at 28 years old. Any older and there might be complications having children. If you count the years, I don't really have much time left to get hitched. Damn, I sound desperate and absolutely traditional.

Let's see how this goes:

If I meet somebody in this year and date for the next 3 years, I would be about 24 years old. If I date for longer and don't break up, I might get married to the same person. If I break up after 3 years, I would have 4 more years to find somebody else, assure he is a good guy and get hitched. If I do find somebody else again but break up again after a year, then I'd have 3 years left. Worse yet, if I date somebody for a super long time and then break up when I near 28, then I'd never get married by then. If I don't find anybody until, let's say, 25, then I would have 3 years to affirm he's a suitable person, and anything can happen in these 3 years.

But looking at the number of guys I've ever dated (which is actually uh... 0? I don't even know if I'm considered to have dated) and judging by the fact that I have 6 more months before I turn 22, I thought it is advisable to start thinking about having a child by myself. So I explored the topic a little with my mother. Unfortunately, the only 2 things she said were,

You think so far for what!

and

Don't ask me to take care of your children hor. I'm very tired already.

I don't know. Is it illegal to choose what quality you want your child to have? It kinds of reminds me of the book Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

I don't know why I think so far either. But if at age 28 I can't find anybody, I really will consider having a child by myself. Maybe such things will be more common then.

Or maybe I might actually be able to find somebody by then. I don't want explosive, passionate love. I just want somebody whom I can trust, rely on, talk to and feel comfortable with, somebody who don't make me feel anxious everytime I think about meeting him.

Haha, it sounds so ridiculous when I type it out but inside, my heart feels entirely different. My heart don't believe in love anymore, my heart don't believe there is anybody for me.

Thanks NTT for saying there are so many weird people in this world that there is sure to be somebody for me. -_-'''