What I learned, and miss

Do you know what I learned through these past few years?

The best person to trust is yourself.
You need to learn to trust yourself.
You need to have self-esteem.
No matter what life throws at you, you can get through them.

The last year made me realize some things about myself. I never knew I was this weak, this aimless. I realized for me everything starts in the mind. If I truly believed I could do something, I could achieve something decent.

I learned to make myself sit through times when giving up seems easier. I'm still figuring how to take away that "make myself".

I saw politics in the music scene and realize politics is everywhere, as long as humans are around and there's work to be done.

I threw somebody's heart quite brutally around, and ended up getting my own stepped on. Multiple times. I'm glad the guy was nice to me during that short while, though we haven't spoke for 3 months since my birthday. Haha. Thank you. This heart has belonged to somebody else already for a long time, but not for too long more, I hope.

I know better which area of Psychology I'm interested in now. It isn't extremely specific, but it'll take me through this last 1.5 years nicely.

I still stutter when I talk. Haha. And sometimes I still talk too fast. If you see me stop talking suddenly and taking deep breaths in the middle of speech or making "argh" sounds while talking, I'm actually trying to make myself talk slower.

Do you know how much I miss those Secondary school days? I miss being naive and silly and being surrounded by friends and music-making mates and loving music whole-heartedly and going to band straight after lessons and getting gastric attacks as a result of that.

And for some reason I'm thinking of Cheston and my eyes are kind of filling up.

I'm in an emotional and nostalgic mood today.