Everything is WRONG

Sorry, lack of good posts lately. Spent the whole of today watching anime and slacking away when I shouldn't be doing so.

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爱你－不能跟你在一起。

恨你－因为不能跟你在一起。

我更爱自己，也更恨自己。

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Dear Diary,

I'm very tired, but also not mentally stimulated enough. Not enough, not enough, not enough. Why am I so achievement-oriented? Achievement-oriented itself is OK, but pair it with low self-esteem is not OK. It's a freaking cycle. The former can be the cause of the latter, the latter makes it so much harder to handle things and this is made worse by the former when one realize how high and far one looks.

You know a bottomless pit? I'm having trouble crawling out of it.

Prozac is a a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI), raising serotonin levels in the nervous system, thus reducing the negative emotions felt. It does not affect positive emotions.

I'm not ok. There's something wrong with me. Don't know what, don't know how.

Stephanie