Reorient

I decided I needed to reorient my life, so erm, I'm leaving this blog for a while. Difficult to say what will happen to it lah, hor. I always say close it but it is still open now, so I'll just leave it here. Feel free to re-read my entries =P

Love all of you! *hugs*

A leaving quote to make you all laugh, as seen from my friend's MSN nick:

The 7 dwarfs were feeling happy, so happy left.

Another blog, another name, another identity. Anonymity, maybe for a while, maybe forever.

I'm Yours

Beautifully simple song by Jason Mraz. Heard it on YZ's blog. Thanks for the recommendation!



Here's the MTV:



The lyrics for the MTV and actual song might differ slightly. In any case, hope you'll enjoy it!

I'm Yours
by Jason Marz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A la peaceful melody
And It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed

I guess what I’ll be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Smaller "Black Hole"

OK, finished ranting a little last night. Some sleep plus a decision and I'm feeling better today. Now I feel a little more like last semester.

Have a good day today, people!

Black Hole

At times when I think I'm losing oneself, abandoning myself to despair, down the very road my father just warned me against...

There is a familiar light - warm and pure. It has a scent of the past, a taste of freedom, a glimpse of the ideal.

For a while I am immersed in the beauty of it all. It caresses my face, lifting the corners of my lips.

Tried to grab hold of it,
almost violently.
It slips past my fingers easily.

-----------------
I start to wonder what is this.
It might very likely be a strong need of control and affection. I'd do almost anything to get affection, even if it might very well be (very) short term, even if I know it is not healthy, even if I know it is not a solution, even if I know I am ruining a part of my life in this way.

I'm jealous, insanely jealous.

Attention seeker

Think I'm really an attention seeker at times. I'd do almost anything to get the attention I want, if I want it.

Sometimes I scare myself.

October

October. It will be the time of change. After October, I won't be able to ask him out again.

Why

There was this guy I was almost dating with once, not too long ago, (anyway all my relationships are almost(es).) and he sort of said, "Don't know how many guys you've slept with before..."

Part of me wanted to laugh because I was actually honoured - I don't find myself in any way attractive when compared to the average girl. Another part of me wanted to slide down and hide under the blankets (ahem, now where was I) in embarrassment both at the frankness of the topic and at the impression I must have given some people I know.

I give in easily to temptation. Really very easily. Sometimes when I'm in the mood I might flirt a little. Sometimes when I'm really in the mood I might do extreme flirting. Ah, but never once have I just slept with any other guy ok. Anyway...

Couple of days ago, a male friend asked me what would make a girl blowjob, how would she feel, and other specifics along this line. And I never realized until then, when I had to answer his question, what would make me do it, what it meant to me.

Only when I like the person and want to be closer to him. That is all.

It might change in future, but for now that would be the answer. Sometimes I really don't get one's stupidity.

Lost

Am lost. But this piece in my archives I'm listening to soothes me and tells me I can find it back.

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence

Statistics makes me happy

I know this will sound very weird.

Statistics really make me very happy. I think math in general makes me very happy. But I'm not very good at them both and very often I am confused and blur when trying to analyze them, but it's nice to deal with them anyway.

So yar, statistics make me happy.

Good guys

"Let's not do it anymore," he said.

Suddenly I realize he's really a good guy, and I don't know what to do. To a certain extent, I don't like good guys, because they make me feel bad about myself. And I have a soft spot for good men.

On the other hand... thank goodness there are good guys around, because I feel like perhaps things can work itself out and be alright again.

Upset

Sometimes all I want is her. Closet bi-sexual. Or just desiring comfort?

Am feeling very upset and emotional for no particular reason at all. Perhaps because I can feel stress from school building up already.

Quote

It rained last night and Olivia told me,

Quick! Close the windows! Wait the hamsters get wet!

Meat and Environment unrelated? WRONG!

All that meat we consume everyday, do you think it has nothing to do with the environment? Think again!

A very classic example is that of cows' fart which contains methane and is a huge contributor of greenhouse gases.

Can we cool the Earth by eating less red meat?

Methane from livestock has experts and food-service think tank at odds

LONDON - Two scientists writing in a major health journal are heating up a debate about global warming: whether eating less meat will help cool temperatures.

In a special energy and health series in the medical journal The Lancet, Tony McMichael of the Australian National University in Canberra and John Powles of Britain’s University of Cambridge said worldwide average meat consumption could be realistically reduced by 10 percent.

Doing so, they say, would decrease the amount of methane gas emitted by cows, sheep and goats. Such methane flatulence is a major greenhouse gas, the kind that most scientists tie to global warming.

But a Washington think tank funded by restaurants and food companies wasn't at all pleased.

"Something doesn't smell quite right here," David Martosko, research director at the Center for Consumer Freedom, said in a statement. "It's sad that a few scientists truly believe cow flatulence is the biggest threat to humanity.

"If someone can breed livestock that emits less methane, I'm all for it," he added. "But consumers are never going to give up their steaks, milkshakes, and drumsticks. This opinion paper doesn't offer convincing reasons why they should."

McMichael and Powles noted that demand for meat is increasing worldwide. In China, for instance, people are eating double the amount of meat they used to a decade ago.

Global average meat consumption is currently 100 grams per person a day but there is a tenfold variation between high-consuming and low-consuming populations.

Other ways of reducing greenhouse gases from farms — like feeding animals higher-quality grains — would only have a limited impact, the authors said.

Worldwide, agricultural activity accounts for about a fifth of total greenhouse-gas emissions and livestock production has a particularly big impact because of the methane.

And while global methane emissions are much lower than carbon dioxide, the main greenhouse gas, methane is about 20 times more powerful a greenhouse gas, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.

The scientists said that reducing meat consumption would not only help to battle warming but also reduce health risks associated with excessive consumption of red meat.

The food think tank had different advice.

"The authors of this opinion paper say governments should tell consumers to eat less meat on environmental grounds," Martosko said. "The last time I checked, people who want to be vegetarians already have that option. But it should be their choice."

source

Click here to listen to a short 5 min interview with Professor Roz Naylor, director of the Program on Food Security and the Environment at Stanford University, talk about how eating meat affects the environment.
source

We're not talking about environmental impacts which will only emerge in the next 50 years. We're talking about environmental impacts which can very possibly happen within the next 5 - 6 years, including shortage of water, shortage of food, rising temperatures (which has already happened and will continue to happen) etc. Which means it is not your children or your children's children who will experience it, but us who will experience it.
I must go dig out the information and blog about it.

If you can't let go of eating meat, like how many of us are, the key is to eat lesser. Exclude meat, especially red meat like beef, from your diet 1 meal per day, everyday. I believe we do eat more than enough meat everyday, more than the Health Food Pyramid suggests we should eat everyday. Go eat your vegetables and fruits =P

Hope this has given you an idea of how our diet affects the environment.

Asiya Akhat (Ассии Ахат) - Ya Luchshaya

Heard this song when watching this video. So here's the song. Not the video. The video's below the song. Haha, so confusing. For some reason the song sounds nicer when you're watching the video.

This is a Ukrainian song. You may not think much of it for the first time, try listening to it 2 - 3 times without watching the video and it gets a little addictive. Enjoy!

Ya Luchshaya
by Asiya Akhat


Make up: Romantic Look

*edit* In love with Asiya Akhat. Check out the rest of her videos on youtube. She's incredibly sexy can!

Running

It is 1.30am. Why am I here?

Some girl stepped on my foot today while on my way to school and sheared my toe nail off. I limped home upstairs and was on the verge of tears. My father threw me a box of plasters, told me to stick it to my toe, let it be for a couple of days then it will drop off (the nail, not my toe). Then he said he was going to work and told me to remember to lock the door.

So much for sympathy.

That's not the point of this post. 2 hours before the girl got her shoe over my toe, I went jogging. Few years back, my knee was injured for some reason, stopping me from my twice/thrice weekly jogging regime. Ever since then, brief jogging episodes left me limping home. Today I got fed up with inactivity and missed jogging too much, so I put on my shoes and headed to the park. It was about 1km into the run when my knee started hurting slightly. By the end of 1.6km, I knew I had to stop putting pressure on it. I was already jogging at snail's pace. Imagine doing 1.6km in 20 minutes!

The sensation was gorgeous anyway, the feeling of solid ground under feet, moving at a constant rhythm, the breathing, the rawness of air going into my nose, rush of blood, perspiration... I'm glad I ran before my toe nail got ripped off.

For some time I tried swimming instead of running for that absence of pressure on knee but I can't quite stick to it. I'm no athlete, but between running and swimming, give me running anytime.

Happy

Had a wonderful, wonderful time today. Haven't felt like this before after a session. Superbly happy! Ah, now I feel so much better and a lot less stressed out!

on MSN

yz: steph!
me: hey
me: what
me: you're attached huh?
yz: ya la ya la
me: OMG
I WAS JUST KIDDING
REALLY AH
REALLY REALLY
yz: no la.
I meant "ya la ya la"
me: -_-'''

Damn, she called me so enthusiastically can...

The one that can be limp and hard

This post is M18. Please skip or close your eyes if you are scrolling downwards and do not wish to taint your innocent mind.

Since this blog readership has dropped from half-a-hundred to a tenth of a hundred (or two-tenth of a hundred) nowadays, I think it is now safe to make a completely random, half-way sexual and absolutely factual comment:

I never knew penises when not erected can be so different in size from when they are.

I was absolutely amazed. Its soft state is simply cute and kinda funny.

Ok, that's all. You may open your eyes now.