Bye 2006

Almost the new year! A couple more hours to go. If I'm a wet blanket, I can say that a new year isn't anything much. It's only a couple more hours - time, something we constructed and imposed upon our daily life. Something we attach (too much) meanings to. In the new year, the earth still continues to spin, the sun continues to rise and set, water still flows and we still have to pay our bills. When the clock strikes 12, we spend a minute (more or less) cheering madly, then two days later we're either back at school or work, back to facing the (even larger) pile of work and people/colleagues we don't really like.
If you think about it, isn't it odd we celebrate the passing of time? Time, that which most of us want to stop and that which we always want more. Ironic. We wave quite happily bye to 2006, a year pass.

Then again, we can always look on the bright side! If 2006 hasn't been a good year, then maybe next year will be better. Optimism, you know. =) It's an hour to 2007! I'm so excited! (Ok, maybe I'm not that excited. 2007 just means I'm turning 21 soon. Considering how I felt when I turned 20...)

Everybody has been doing a recount of 2006, what they have done and all that. Hmm, should I? Nah, too much to summarise. Besides, I'm sure you'd be bored. =) One thing though. I've learnt a lot in 2006. A lot of things in many aspects like life, blah blah and myself, blah blah. Just read through the archives.

By the way, heard that 7 bombs went off in Bangkok just now. Not 1, not 2 but 7 freaking bombs. I just wish that when the clock strikes 12, no bombs go off in Singapore or anywhere in the world. Throughout the year too, please just let all of us be safe. Much as I don't see much in my life now, I'm trying to build it up again so no I don't wish to die yet. Why are humans so fond of killing each other? I don't understand.

Bye 2006. Thank you, time, for all that you have taught me in this past year. I hope I'll learn as much in the upcoming year.

Shelved

I got my new wardrobe the day before. I put my stuff inside. I put hello kitty and its gun, safely inside its glass bottle into a shoe box, together with the items of its time. I chose the highest shelf, the one I have to climb a chair to reach. I put it right at the back. On top of it I placed two more boxes, things I would not touch for a while. I fitted a tiny curtain in front of the small pile, then I drew it close. In front of the curtain I put my few CDs. I don't really listen to CDs. When it's done, I climb down the chair.

A tiny section of my life, shelved, with the curtain drawn. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Morals

There must be something wrong with me because I don't see what's wrong with somebody having sex with a person 10 years older. Where are my morals?!

Links

See the links bar on the right of this page? See your face? *grin* What's the moral of the story? Don't anyhow send me pictures. *grins more*
I'm planning to substitute most links with pictures, if I can find suitable ones. Idea taken from TRN.

A few notices to a few people if they are reading this blog:

Chuwen: I'm working on your banner. Internet connection is darn slow, can't upload pictures.
Currytan: Don't know what picture to put. You want your face up there too? =D
Huimin: -blank- Don't even have your picture!
Sibeh Sian: Working on it... (feel like koping TRN's)
Yanwei: ... ... angels elude me. You want baby angel, cupids, some angel or any angel? I really wish you'd choose the last one because I think Gatsby would be very interesting. =) Oh wait, Gatsby's wax...

NUS Year 2 sem 1 results

Totally unexpected.

2006/2007 Sem 1 Examination for ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCES 2

Module Code	Module Title	Grade
GEK1519	Science of Music	A-
PC1141	Physics I	B-
PL2132	Research and Statistical Methods II	B-
PL3235	Social Psychology	A
SC1101E	Making Sense of Society	B-

CAP: 3.77

Relieved, elated. CAP dropped only 0.03 points and not a single C in sight. Couldn't have asked for more. (Btw, I must be the first among my friends to have scored this score for sociology. Extremely lousy. Just glad that I didn't fail it.)

Sigh, another new semester soon. Dreading it.

wet blanket

A wet blanket to the previous post.

Christmas is yet another over-blown holiday. Another excuse to spend and party, another public holiday on the calendar.

Oh all 3 sets of today's show was cancelled. So we got allowance for going there and sitting in the room to enjoy the aircon. Damien treated us to dinner at a Peranakan restaurant too. Fantastic dinner.

Didn't wish for Christmas to come because don't want 26th December, results day, to come too. Boxing day, indeed. I'm sure I'll get boxed by my results. Maybe should get a pair of sunglasses.

Merry X'mas

Merry Christmas, everybody!

and a happy new year.

Karang Guni

This morning woke up to a karang guni horning away downstairs. It has been 6 years since I last heard that, believe it or not. This karang guni was honking a very funky rhythm too. =)

The title here is the reason why it has been 6 years and here is the reason I took notice of the honking.

Memory

It is odd.
Seeing his name, hearing or speaking it brings surges of emotions within me. Sometimes it's a smile, sometimes it makes me miss him but mostly I'm happy coming across any mention of him. Like just now when I was surfing blogs and came across his name, I stopped scrolling and stared at it for a while, a kind of emotion surfacing inside me.

Remembered once when I saw his photo on one of his blogs, I stopped there and at that moment I could remember how he felt, smelt, tasted. For a few days the sensation lasted but it slowly lost its magic until I don't really remember.

You know when people say how a kiss can send a shock through your body and make you tingle from head to toe or something like that? I don't know how that feels. Always wondered. When he kissed me, it was not electrifying, instead it was... comforting. Haha, ok, why am I talking about this?! Don't know what I have been thinking about nowadays. I can stare at the floor and my whole mind is filled with him. Damn, I can stare at the computer screen and still be thinking about him. Comfort, he brings me comfort in ways not imaginable. I know I can depend on him, unfortunately, he doesn't want me depending on him. Too much, too dependent.

Memory, a fantasy.

Pitstop cafe; show tomorrow

Went to Pitstop cafe with 2-four today. It's like mind cafe or settlers, only cheaper. They also provide a photo-taking service and gives you one free photo to paste on the wall as well as to leave a message (of some sort). Fun place to be at and one place where the staff don't tell you to lower down your volume when you get hyped up over a game. It was set up by students, by the way. Click on link above to take a look at how is the place like.

-----------------------

Show outside Esplanade Waterfront Canopy tomorrow. Christmas Eve, meaning a lot of people if it doesn't rain. Unprepared and nervous, as usual. Kind of hope it rains.

Anyway do pop down tomorrow at 7 or 7.30pm at the Esplanade Waterfront Canopy to give me some pressure watch and give us some support. There are 5 of us on piano, drumset, vibes, marimba and some auxiliaries bringing you up to 20 Christmas pieces. It's 3 half-hour sets starting from 7 or 7.30pm till 10/10.30pm. There should be kind of an alternate show between us and another group at the Outdoor Theatre (the white, sheltered area). So the order's like us, them, us, them, us, them, till we've each done 3 sets.
Pray that I don't screw anything up.

Wishing all a Merry Christmas Eve eve! =)

JC gathering - farewell meal

Just got back from dinner with JC classmates at N.Y.D.C. , a farewell meal for Poyan before she leaves for Hong Kong for her studies.

Food matters first. BH said the spaghetti wasn't nice and I think the oven-baked rice was better than that at the pizza-hut-lookalike place (can't remember the name) though I think the one at pizza-hut-lookalike was supposed to be better. Baked rice are always somehow too cheesy for me, but I chose it anyway because I wanted to challenge myself and also because it was one of the cheapest things there. Anyway I won't be dining there frequently because I didn't find anything special there. Heard the mudpies are good though. Maybe should try that, and only that, another time.

Classmates hardly changed, all look the same and behave the same. Nothing much to say, really. Maybe a tad disappointed with how conversations went with some of the closer friends. A bit cold, if you know what I mean. Most probably because I haven't seen them for some time and we have been living different lives, you know. *shrug* Nothing new. People come, people go, people change. Sometimes I think SH is very right, that group living is very tiring.

There's one thing about the meeting I'd very much like to mention though. There was this male classmate of mine with whom I was on quite good terms with in JC, but then things went awry. I just kind of ignored him for no reason. Actually there was a reason, but I can't really remember it and I don't think it was his fault much either. In any case I never talked to him again for quite a long time, during a period in JC and even after graduation. Not one word. I really regretted what I did and really wanted to initiate a conversation with him, but I just couldn't do it, cannot not even look at him. He seems to have the same reservations about me too because he never looks at me nor talk to me. I have this feeling that he thinks I (still) detest him and wants to avoid me.

So today we were seated in 2 rows facing each other and very coincidentally he sat opposite me. Initially he was sitting opposite Cindy who was just by my side. The seat in front was empty and I knew he just didn't want to sit there because of me. I just kept quiet. It's one of those few things that I actually don't have any courage to overcome - just speaking to him. It's like you're already so firmly stuck in mud that you can't make a move. So he sat in front of Cindy, an empty seat between him and Ping Yong, another male classmate. It was odd to say the least. But later, Poyan and her boyfriend came along so he shifted to sit opposite me instead.

Throughout the 2 hours we were seated there, I never talked to him except to steal a few glances. I didn't know how to start a conversation with him and I felt like... like it's not right for me to just suddenly talk cheerily to him after all these years of silence. Not sure how to explain it. Ok, to me it is like... what I am doing is that I decide when he should have the right to talk to me and when he should not. Get me? I owe him an apology and an explanation, but I don't know how to go about doing it. All these years it never occurred to me that I could apologize to him until today when I suddenly saw him again. It is only now that I realized how much I owe him, this male classmate who once had been a relatively good friend. See how I destroy friendships or for that matter, any kind of relationships?

Close to 3 years of silence. Already at ease with it. How to break down that barrier? Can it be done? 3 years and a friendship lost because of one naive action.

Coincidentally, his initials are also SH.

Memory - a dream

Dating really doesn't mean anything, I'm just naive enough.

I remember he was sitting beside me and talking. I looked at him momentarily, then stood up and straddled him. He was surprised. "Why?" he asked. "So that I can get you fully," I replied. Then I just held him that way, just sat on his lap and hugged him. Didn't tell him I didn't want to let go. I couldn't believe I was holding somebody and that person was holding me back. This only happened to me in dreams. At that time I tried to commit every second to memory, trying to remember the way he felt and the way he smelt. I outlined the letters on the back of his singlet as a form of distraction to what I was doing. Haha, didn't know why I did that either. I didn't know how long things would stay this way before it was over, whether by me or something else. So I sat there, wishing and hoping that I didn't have to leave and I could hold him just a little while longer, enjoy that moment a while longer. But I knew I had to go because he needed to study for his exams. So I bent down and kissed him quickly then I stood up to leave. He was surprised at that kiss yet again and asked why. I didn't answer. I just felt like I wanted to do that. Then we were at the door and I looked at him again. I wanted to hold him again but I didn't. Just turned, walked down the steps and went home. Never went back there again, if I'm not wrong.

It was all so long ago. Last night I was thinking of it when tears came to my eyes. I don't think it was because it hurt inside, I was crying more for the memory.

Chewable Contraceptive

Looking for a contraceptive that's convenient — and tasty? The first chewable birth-control method, a tiny, spearmint-flavored tablet that also can be swallowed without chewing, has hit pharmacy shelves.
Femcon Fe, which contains the same hormones as standard oral contraceptives, offers a new option for women who don't like swallowing pills and want to take their birth control with them, according to Carl Reichel, president of drugmaker Warner Chilcott of Rockaway.

Read full article here.

Gotten off Avik.

Jammin'

Me - 8 years percussion experience
Olivia - 1 hour percussion experience.

Olivia: Come, let's jam!

Me: ... ...

Peanut butter jam, strawberry jam, blueberry jam...

Completed!

Finally finished my 500-pieces jigsaw puzzle! Thought I would never be able to fit the white pieces together. May I remind you all that white pieces are very difficult to fix ok! It's the same with all same-coloured pieces. Imagine trying to figure out which piece fits where purely by the shape of the piece, plus some have very very similar shapes except for one little itsy bitsy tiny difference. Don't know how many combinations I tried, running through almost all the pieces for one space and decided that one of the 2 pieces is the correct one only to have gotten it wrong in the end.

6 days (plus a lot of procrastination) isn't too long a time, is it?

LoveEdition.com

Whoa, saw this here and thought it's darn interesting. Is there really such an exhibition here? I had absolutely no idea.
Go on and click anywhere on the webpage!

Body Souffle Creams
Deliciously decadent, kissable creams for the ultimate sensual massage.
Comes in 4 different flavours: Chocolate, Cool mint, French vanilla and Strawberry.

This is cute: Fun In Bed™

"In the game you will find a gentleman’s tie, a lady’s stocking. A feather to tickle your fancies and 240 Fun In Bed cards in 6 categories.

Kiss Me, Tease Me, Surprise Me, Ask Me, Please Me and Talk to Me"

Interesting: Spank Me Kit

"Crank up the excitement in the bedroom with the erotic spanking kit – Spank Me!"

Ok, just go check it out yourselves if you are interested, I don't have time to look through everything, just found it interesting.

Biscuit recommendation

Not sure if I've talked about this biscuit before.

Father likes it, sister likes it, brother likes it, mother likes it, I like it.
You know Dennis butter cookies? Always thought those are too expensive and too little, though they taste nice. Now try Danisa butter cookies!

I believe it has twice the amount in a typical Dennis tin and costs cheaper too, at $3.95. Go try, go try! Especially if you want to eat those butter cookies but find them too expensive. This is really very worth it!

Results nightmare

So many blogs talking about results and so many friends (and one cousin) talking about results that last night I think I had a nightmare on results. Initially I didn't even bother thinking about the results, don't even want to see the "fake results" or "leaked out results" or whatever results that people were talking about. I really don't understand why so many of my friends and others are upset that they didn't get a glimpse of their results on that now-removed-website. Isn't it good to have your freedom and no worries days prolonged just a little bit longer? Ok maybe they were equally nervous before knowing their results as well, but I think that's because they really gave their best during the exams. I just hope I don't fail sociology (cause it was shit on my paper), get at least a C for the other 2 modules and if possible As for the only 2 modules I am (very) confident in.

ARGH! Talking about results is freaking me out and reminding me how badly I did during the exams!! Stop stop stop! I should be enjoying myself! I don't want another nightmare tonight.

Breathe! Breathe!

I don't want school to start anytime soon. =( I really really like my days the way they are now.

Show, a Birthday & Sex talk

Let me apologize first because this is going to be quite a mundane post. Too much happened to cut it away, especially since it is this girl's birthday.

Had another show outside Esplanade today. Was supposed to be 3 half hour sets with breaks in between, only that it started to rain after 20 minutes into our first set and the rain didn't stop except during our first, prolonged break. After which we sat around and talk cock until 9pm when the organizers told us they're canceling the third set as well and that's good news for us because we get paid for doing almost nothing.

Was YZ's 18th birthday today and the members playing today bought a cake, meant to be a surprise. So as we were in the room allocated for us in the Esplanade itself, Damien sent me a SMS asking me to bring her out for a while because they had to prepare the cake. I was surprised and started getting nervous. Heh. So I jumped out of my seat and suddenly announced that I want to take a walk outside, would YZ please accompany me? Apparently she didn't find it odd and told me afterwards that it seemed normal enough because it was me. Well, thank you very much, YZ. =D Since the room in Esplanade had a smoke detector (and because they couldn't find a lighter), Damien used his laser pointer in place of the flame. Then after she made that blowing sound in the completely darkened room, he switched his light to a white one, like smoke. I offered to bring YZ to a club for the experience since it's her 18th and she said her aunt would murder her or something. Not ladies' night tonight anyway, I think.

We had dinner at Thai Express. The noodle was nice, especially the soup base. But the meat balls were a little too peppery for my liking. According to Jeremy it tasted like our normal chinese minced meal balls (with too much pepper). By the way, those balls were huge. No, the balls don't remind me of anything. It was nice seeing Jeremy again (because he's darn lame) and hearing him do a demostration of beat-boxing.

Yiang Shan and me hitched a ride from Damien and on the way we passed by Geylang, including the entire row of prostitutes lined alongside the road. I commented that I've never actually seen something like this before, so he took us for a ride along one lane in that area.

"The houses that have numbers on them are the chicken houses," he says (or something to that effect).

I saw a few men chatting up a few scantily dressed women, thought I spotted one who was quite pretty but can't really see. The rest were really just revealing flesh to attract customers. Men were just standing around doing nothing or standing around the women staring at them. One man stood in front of a row of women, looking as though he's making his choice. Yiang Shan said that the girls aren't very pretty.

"I heard that the best ones are usually inside the house," Damien replies and explains something about pimps, good/bad pigs and the not so pretty women acting as magnets. He further says, "If you can look into one of the houses, you might be able to see a 'fishtank' (room with glass window) with 'fishes' (prostitutes) inside. The men make their choices from outside, looking into the room, that's where the names come about."

We finish making the round in that one lane and looking at all the numbered houses. He advises us kiddingly, "So next time you all buy property, remember don't light up the number outside your house."

I am amazed at the sight because I truly have not seen such a thing. I didn't know that so many houses and nearby hotels catered to this trade. Naive, ain't I? YS mentions something about sex and how a malay girl in her class boasts to everybody that she has already done it with her boyfriend. Either Damien or her was commenting, "So great to have lost it meh?"

"It's getting common nowadays," I said, "In fact for my age group, for some if you haven't done it, you might seem weird to them, and this group of people are growing. It's actually normal to have done it (before marriage). It just isn't as important anymore."

Both of them seem quite surprised, then Damien thought about it and agreed that it is the case these days then he went on a little bit about STDs, babies and some friend of his who has AIDS. The babies are innocent, but if they suffer some deformity or blindness etc. because of something his/her parents did...

The conversation drifted off and turned to another topic somewhere, or was it because we've already reached the studio? In any case YS and I took the bus home from there after carrying the instruments up.

It felt odd coming back to my new/old house, but I liked the shorter walking distance.

Yesterday - THE day!

Oh, forgot to declare yesterday we moved into the new/old house, but that's not the most important thing. The most important thing is that

WE HAVE BACK OUR INTERNET CONNECTION!

=D
I've never seen my brother move so fast to set up something. One of the first things he did was to ask if I want to bring the computer over, then we set the whole thing up, dug up the filter from inside one of the plastic bags which was inside one of the many boxes, used an old phone line for the modem and before the rest of the house was ready, the computer was up, complete with internet and all, not one thing changed. =)

Then of course we all fought over who should use the computer first, including Olivia. Nah, just kidding.

I started laughing when I saw that the whole thing worked out. Because, haha, we are no longer dependent on a 384 kpbs connection!

Father got locked in

My father tested out the master bedroom door.
He closed the door.
The door got stuck.
He got locked in.
The contractor kicked the door in.
The insides of the door knob shattered into pieces.
The door opened.
My father got out.
My sister is now afraid of closing any of the doors.

Christmas - past and present

Tomorrow is the day when we will again have access to our internet connection. =) Pardon me, I'm very lousy where technical terms are concerned.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, dearest computer, I shall once again be able to run my fingers over your keyboard.

It gets me very irritated when I'm blogging and my mom keeps walking past me from behind. Not many windows to switch to.

Christmas is in 10 days. What wishes/resolutions do you have? What about presents? Do you have the practice to giving/receiving presents on Christmas?

Though my family is not christian, we do have the practice of doing so only because the weather and occasion seems right for some gift giving and receiving. In the past when the weather used to be really really cold during December, there'd be a Christmas tree in the living room, one where my father, brother and myself would set up and decorate. I would tear cotton wool into small pieces (really really small amounts) and put it on different parts of the tree, then on two small pieces of "snow" near the top of the tree, there'd be two tiny reindeers standing opposite each other. Then there'd be tiny presents ornaments, glittery/shiny balls, one very old santa claus, flashing lights that have music/lights that don't have music/lights that don't flash (depending on the different years when old lights are spoilt and new ones are bought), some more decorations and a star which is slightly rusted, right at the top of the tree. Actually I don't remember the star or whatever it was that was at the top of the tree. It just sounds right to mention a star. Hehz. Odd? That of everything on a Christmas tree, I remember other ornaments but not the most important one at the top, the one which every kid wants to put on, according to stories in story books. But then that's in story books. I remember the empty boxes posing as presents placed at the foot of the tree too. When we were still really young, there would be real presents there amongst the fake ones, no doubt placed there by Santa. In the morning we would be delighted at the small "hill" of presents, each one labelled to either my brother, me, my father or my mother. Like how my father loved Christmas, we kids loved Christmas too.

Then we grew up. Decorating trees didn't seem as much fun anymore. There was no more "snow" on the tree though the reindeer still stood at the same place. The lights didn't emit anymore music nor flash. There were no more real presents beneath the tree. Sometimes I don't even remember the tree being there. The nights were warmer, it didn't feel Christmassy.

The problems with humans is that sometimes we can grow old enough to become young again. Fantasies and 8-year-old stories are interesting again; games are no longer childish; running, singing and laughing out in public are not only the privilege of the kids, those old enough claim them as well. We grow to be old, then we grow older to be young again. Maybe because we want to be young again the older we get. Yeah, that could be it. In any case, this is the same thing for Christmas. Somehow I want to set up the tree and decorate it again, buy colourful flashing lights with christmassy music, tear up cotton wool for fake snow, put a star at the top of the tree and to receive presents as well as give presents (if I have the money!) Yet all this cannot compare with the joy and excitement felt when I was still a kid during Christmas. It ain't only Christmas, it's for every other festival as well.

I don't have a Christmas wish, never made them, probably never will.

3 weeks to school

3 weeks of holidays left before the start of another semester. I really really am not looking forward to it. Why do time pass so fast? Sigh. I still want to feel free and to do whatever I want.
The thought of quitting school crossed my mind again, argh. Next semester I'll try to squeeze all lessons into 4 days and in the mornings so that most of my time is made use of and no need to have lunch in school. If I have to have lunch then can leave immediately and sleep on the bus. *grin* Usually after lunch sleepy mahz!

Please please please let the holidays last as long as possible! Don't want to go back to facing books! In a bid to not waste the holidays, I have come up with a holiday/christmas resolution (whichever you want to think)!

Sleep early, wake up early

or

sleep late, wake up early

Now is not the time to waste the holidays!

Today's equations

A 384.0 kbps internet connection + 15 minutes to get into beta blogger = a bored and slightly irritated girl + books + going out and aim/less walking + a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle

To do 95% of a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle, of which 25% are completely white = 2 very tired necks + 2 very tired minds + 4 pairs of helping hands + 9 hours of work

How kids nowadays swear

Olivia said

Wah lao! Fuck lah!

Meme - 3 Best Stalls in NUS Canteens

Curry Tan tagged me to do this meme on the 3 Best Stalls in NUS Canteens. Wah lao, frankly I don't have much experience at the stalls there leh! Everything to me is "okay" because my tongue says it's "okay", and I usually eat at arts canteen... In any case...

Instructions:
1) List three stalls (in no particular order) in NUS canteens that you like the most.
2) Explain briefly your choice for each.
3) Tag three people (NUS students and staff... duh!).
4) Link back to the person who tagged you so that backlinks/trackbacks will appear.

1) Chicken Rice stall at Arts Canteen

What's good:
Others say that the previous seller sells horrible chicken rice and I think I'm lucky that I got to eat at this new stall when it started business. Some friends say I'm a chicken rice freak but I'm not ok! It's just that the dish from this stall is really nice. The chicken isn't dry or hard, it's fresh and supple and tender (am I using the correct words?). The rice isn't too oily or too dry, it's just right. Plus they have a few thick stalks of vegetables to go with at the side instead of cucumber, which I really like. The vegetables are boiled, so it's healthy. If you don't like vegetables you can always tell the uncle about that. Business is really brisk at that stall during lunchtimes and the queue can be really long! Oh oh, they also have a huge pot of free soup outside the stall! Self-service. I like the taste of the soup too, don't think they added MSG. It's purely boiling of chicken, if I'm not wrong. In any case it's a must try!

What's bad:
This comment came from MZ: The vegetables come from this little basket next to where they prepare the meat and the uncle will just use his bare hand to take the vegetables from the basket and put onto the plate. A bit not hygienic. I think it should be ok, I haven't had a diarrhoea from eating at that place, so I will overlook that point. Plus they need to be fast.

The food started out at $1.50 or $1.60, now I think it costs $1.80. =( But it's worth it, I don't mind paying the price. Do notice that you'd have to pay more for drumsticks on your rice though.

2) Fresh/fried fish with noodles (yu pian mi fen) stall at Arts Canteen

What's good:
Almost always eat from here. It ain't perfect but I think it's good. Don't know why, I just like how the soup taste and I think the sliced fish is fresh. There are vegetables! Yes, I'm a stickler for vegetables.

What's bad:
Frozen noodles are used, which means it's kind of hard and sometimes still stick together when you are eating.
Not enough vegetables.

3) The Indian stall at Arts Canteen

What's good:
Crispy prata, cooked on the spot, taste marvellous. I like pratas plain because of the dipping in curry. This stall has nice curry, spicy and addictive. I'm not a critic for curry so you all try already then tell me. There are many types of prata, egg, potatoes (there's a special name for this) etc.
They also sell briyani and rice with different dishes.

What's bad:
They are SLOW when it comes to prata and will tend to ask for your order 3 to 4 times, so you must be prepared to stand there for 15 minutes. If you buy from there you will see why they are slow.
Their utensils once ran out when I wanted a fork/spoon. They gave me a plastic one instead. I almost broke it while eating.

Other stall(s) worth a mention:
Western stall at business
Rice stall at Arts (Ingredients, except for rice, not bad)

Tagged:
Mingzhu
Liu Yin
Yanwei

Very Important

Brother had 2 bags on one shoulder, a bunch of carrier bags in one hand and was pushing the trolley. There was a piece of paper pasted on one of the baskets on the trolley. I squinted at it from a distance. It says VERY IMPORTANT. I start giggling because the basket contains his school work. We wrap his other baskets of Magic the Gathering cards with plastic wrapper so that his not-so-important-but-still-very-important-stuff does not get lost. I keep giggling. He, a JC1 student, reminded me of my sister Olivia, a primary 2.

Brother, with all his load, attempts to push the trolley out the door. The baskets fall off. I start laughing really hard. "haha, your VERY IMPORTANT things fell off, haha," I laugh harder, "Can you don't have so many VERY IMPORTANT things or not, haha," I can't stop laughing. We help him load the trolley again. I continue laughing, "haha, your VERY IMPORTANT things are very heavy, haha." Mum did most of the carrying because my arms were laughing too. He one-handedly attempts to push the trolley out towards the lift. It goes a bit lopsided, mum helps him get it downstairs. I am laughing really badly. "haha, Brother looks like auntie, haha, carry so many things, haha, first time he looks like auntie, haha."

Evening, I come to my uncle's house where our things are temporarily stored. The first thing I see is a piece of paper flapping in the air, commanding my attention. It says VERY IMPORTANT.

Today

Today is the day!

Then why am I still able to blog? Because I am still awake at this freaking hour, enjoying every internet-available-second although I have to wake up at 7am tomorrow and I'm going to disassemble the computer right after I've posted this entry. Damn. This requests a sad face. =(

BUT! My mother has her office laptop with her and will be having it for the next one week, which means it is a source of internet for me! This requires a happy face. =D

Ok I should stop talking rubbish and start disassembling the computer. Yes, I'm disassembling it alone. Parents are asleep, brother is somewhere downstairs (meeting girlfriend?) and the computer is in my room.

Tata.
*muacks* It won't be long before I'll be able to run my fingers across your keyboard again, dearest computer.

=D There are echoes even as I type. ALRIGHT, good night/morning, all!

echoes; others

Ahh! I said in my room. Ah! I said again.

*grin* There are echoes.
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Because tonight is the last night before the computer takes a week long break, I'm going to watch (almost) a week long worth of anime, Tsubasa Chronicle, tonight.

The Chronicles of Narnia sounds interesting too. By the way, that's a book, not an anime. =)

Tonight

Tonight is the night!
The night after which I won't have access to the computer or the internet. Heh, feels a bit like an adventure. Alright, bye bye!

Incoherent arguments

Crap, I can't even think coherently nowadays. Friends, I apologize if my comments on your blogs are somewhat jumbled or if I don't comment anymore. I can't think properly! How to present a coherent argument?

To not see, to see, to not understand

Dear Diary,

Today I was packing stuff into boxes. So many things to pack! Never knew I owned so many items. Tomorrow or Monday is the last day in this place. It's kind of amazing, I feel as if that day will never come. It seems so far away.

I was packing, even before I was packing, I could feel it coming. It is despair, emptiness, loneliness, aimlessness. It is something like this. I'm not sure why I've been feeling this way recently because I don't recall feeling this way in the past. There don't seem to be a way to control it, it comes and leaves as it pleases and yet I know I have the power over it, that it cannot come unless I allow it to, so I must have allowed it in sometime today.

When it strikes, I feel all odd. YW says it sounds normal to him, what I'm feeling. Really? I am surprised but somehow glad. I want to know that I am normal and that there is a way to counter it. When it strikes... how do I show you all the images I see? Or the images I don't see? How do I show you the road my mind walks down, the light grey of it? How do I convey the sense of helplessness within, the lack of will to live, the dread to live and the lack of desire? Will you make sense of the thought within me to mark myself with a blade, to remind myself that I am worthless and merely a tiny creature upon this world, amongst others so great and so powerful, that I should not think the world revolves around me? Words don't suffice. Even after the relatively lengthy conversation with YW, it doesn't feel as if I have painted the picture sufficiently for him, yet there are some parts that he is spot-on. Maybe words don't have to suffice, maybe you all understand what I'm talking about.

Right now I'm savouring the feeling of being "normal", of not thinking too much and when it is not here. It feels good, though I wonder at the wonder (haha, words) of the human mind to make sense of what is around them, to convince themselves that this life is worthwhile and to live a dream while being seemingly down-to-earth.

We were talking a bit about dreams. He has his dreams, I... don't currently have any. Not because I don't want to, but just that I don't have any. Maybe I am afraid of being let down, or maybe I just don't see the point. I tell him maybe I should try going overseas (though I will puke), he says I can still find my sky in Singapore. Aimless, I reply, what's the point? Perhaps I am feeling this lost because I will be graduating soon and I have complete freedom over my future. It is scary. It seemed so far away, as if that day would never come.

Sometimes I envy SH and many others. Other times, I know I'll never be where they are. Build yourself an entire network of relations on the internet, maybe feel wanted in this virtual world, feel like you are appreciated, feel like you can do something properly, that you can make an impact. It dawned on me that there are people who will make it and there are those who won't. If everybody rises to the top, then who will be at the bottom? Am I wanting too much? Is this my dream? Mark me, remind me of who I am and who I will always be!

Do you see what I see? Do you see it? My childishness! I hate it!

Dumb

I think I'm a bit dumb... *scratch head*

Everyday

Always, somehow, not a day passes without a thought of him. Even during the nights, I dream of things I yearn and I wake up smiling, only to realize that it is what it is - a dream. I know every time I say I'm feeling better, I kind of fall back to a low for a few days, but I'm still going to say it. I do feel better. Enjoying every second of release though there's still a hint of pain. Getting used to it doesn't mean it's good, I agree, but at least it's better than nothing.

Christmas is coming.

I wish I was only thinking too much and that he doesn't (intensely) dislike me or anything of that sort. Please, please, please. I know it's my fault and I don't harbour any thoughts of talking to him anymore. I just want forgiveness, for a stupid mistake I made. Is it possible...

Her $2 pledge

Here's a girl who's pretty and kind as well! Read her pledge here.

Here's an excerpt:

but i digress. the purpose of this blog entry is to highlight the fact that there really are a lot of poor people in our community. and more importantly, we can help them! if you are reading this blog, chances are you are already living well enough to have your own internet connection, or at least the ability to find one.

as of blogging this, i pledge to help by giving a minimum of $2 to every elderly person i see that’s collecting used cans for a living. $2 isn’t much, but it is enough to buy him or her a warm meal. besides i know if i started off with more than $2, i may not be able to keep it going for long. who’s with me?

on my way to work today i gave away my first $2 (since this pledge) to an old man collecting cans near my home. he asked if i won the lottery. he also said that for every kilogram of cans he collects, he gets $1.50. $1.50! how many trash cans does he have to rummage through to collect a kilogram’s worth? those recycling companies are certainly not charitable.

Featured on tomorrow.sg.

Would you do the same as her? We should, if not in this way, then in others.

The Starfish Story

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a boy ahead of him picking up starfishes and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the boy, he asked why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun.

"But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish," said the old man. "How can your effort make any difference?"

The boy looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it safely in the waves. "It makes a difference to this one," he said.

Moving house

Apologies for the lack of entries. Am currently packing my room because we're moving house very soon. Come 11th December Monday, there might not be entries for a few days up to a week because my family's staying at my Uncle's house for the moment so no internet access. No internet access! This is horrible. Anyway I hope you'll check back during that time because I'm sure to steal a few moments of access from someplace everyday. Paid for, of course! I'm a slave to technology. =)

Bored? Why not check out a few anime? Dear cousin influenced me with her love for anime. If you'll check out the side bar, you'll see the two that I'm currently watching. I'm sure there are tons of nice ones out there as well but I've got not enough time! I love the holidays though. The freedom to do what I want to do. =) Hope you'll enjoy yours!

Alright, back to packing my room into boxes.

1 year death anniversary

Today is my grandmother's 1 year death anniversary. You know, I haven't dreamt about her at all, unless you count that really freaky dream.
I am reminded of the email he sent me a year ago when he read about my grandmother's death. Time passes by so fast. It seems like yesterday I was at the funeral, flaring up, looking at her in the coffin and reading my literature notes.

Random

I saw a bunch of mynahs and freaked myself out because they all looked alike. Then I saw a pregnant cat.
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The boy behind me said, "You give me 100 cupid-centimetre lah, then I-don't-know-what-he-said cupid-centimetre..."
Odd, I didn't know cupids invented new units.
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It rained immediately after my paper ended. I walked from the circle at the top

to the circle at the bottom to take the bus.
It was dark and very quiet. =) I like.

Coffee Club Xpress's Chocolate Muffin is very nice. The little bits of melted chocolate inside are delicious.

Finished!

Finally, exams are over! Feel relieved, one whole month of no academia.

Today's social psychology paper was the only one I went in and came out with confidence level almost untouched. The thing is that I only spent a week on this module, but a hell lot more brain cells! The moment I flipped open the paper I saw that one of the essay questions was an exact replication of a past year's so I jumped on that one immediately. Actually not immediately because I was undecided between this and another one, but due to the fact that the other question needed relevant research findings I decided to drop it and go with the one I did. If I told you all what is the question I'm sure you will drop and start laughing at me. Ok lah, ok lah!

"Often love dies." What factors predict marital dissolution? Describe how couples typically detach or renew their relationships. What advice would you give to couples to increase their chances for staying happily together?

Eh floor very clean already, you all can stop rolling about. I know it is very ironic.

Anyway saw CW outside MPSH. Very surprised (and very flustered... yar right). By the way CW, I was sitting for Social Psychology paper, not Sociology or whatever it is you thought I was sitting for, and your hair looks faintly normal! =D He asked me to stop eating the fish balls the way I'm eating it (because it looked suggestive). Very amusing.

With a bit of luck, I just might be able to maintain my CAP.

I've got two pimples on my head.

The lecturer during PL2132 paper paused at my table because he was taking my attendance.

3 hours again

Diarrhoea, I think. 3 hours before my paper.

I sound like a nutcase

My left eyelid just twitched. =( I don't think it is a good sign because it twitched too the day/night before my statistics paper and before my sociology. Where's the scotch tape...

Freedom tomorrow

Tomorrow's my last paper! Which means that tomorrow I'll need to suddenly shit again. Maybe I should really epilate my pits before I leave for school. Maybe I should epilate it tonight. Maybe I should just get back to studying now.
Oh man, this is so pointless. Feels like waiting for slaughter tomorrow. 26th December will be even worse - results day. Really dread it. Luckily I don't tell my parents my grades anymore and they don't ask either.

Alright, I shall decide tomorrow whether to epilate or not. Check back again to find out!

I'm just kidding.

(P/S Read here if you have no idea why I am talking about epilating pits.)

Musing 2

So.
Is being cute good or bad? Let me make it clearer. If you are 20, a university undergrad, a female and somebody calls you cute, is that good or bad? Okay, fine, if somebody calls me cute is that good or bad?

musing

I was just wondering if he still does visit this blog and if he does, how frequently? =D I know, pointless post. Just kind of thinking of him, that's all. I've been playing an online game ever since I came back home. Completely no mood to study.

I can see what's going through your minds...

Oi! I got study for Social psychology ok! Want to score A doesn't necessarily mean can mah!

Getting fresh

LY and I were getting down the bus at interchange and one of the first things I told her was "I wish they would stop hugging each other."
"Yar lor!" She said, "Got 2 of them some more!"
I looked around. There were indeed 2 couples. One on our left, the other on our right. I kind of wish I could have taken the same bus as her then because I wanted to watch them! What a waste of public affection! What could be better than watching a couple get fresh with each other in real life? =P

PL2132 - Disappointed

I went in full of confidence and came out very beaten.

Actually I came out in an odd sort of mood - not exactly happy but quite delirious and not exactly sad. Disappointed, yes, very. You know what's really funny? I was sitting in almost the same seat as when I took another statistics paper last semester - 2nd seat from the front.

Before the paper started I started to have headache. The moment I read the first question I was so nervous I couldn't answer properly. I think I screwed the first question really badly. Half an hour into the paper my hands were shaking, I was mumbling to myself, I thought I was going to hand in a blank script and I was imagining myself smoking a cigarette. Don't know why the last image popped into my head. 1/2 an hour past and my friend beside me raised her hand for another booklet. I was starting to freak out even more. An hour into the paper I was already giving up. Did what I could in whatever time I had. Am very disappointed with myself, really very disappointed. Couldn't even tell if the study was a mixed, within or between subject. Don't think you all understand what I mean by that but basically if a person says that, he/she is really very screwed up. Think I was writing such nonsensical things on my script that the lecturer when walking past me paused a little while to stare at my script before walking on. Then I started to bite my nails, was on the verge of crying and really wanted to quit school.

Now really no confidence for Wednesday's paper. Essay somemore. =S And I feel really weird inside. Don't know how to describe. In any case I screwed this semester really badly and am expecting no miracle on wednesday.

God I wish this headache would go away.

mood change

Uh-oh, I sense an upcoming mood change... 3 hours before my paper. Sigh.

Stats paper later

Purposely woke up late because damn exam is at 5pm and I am very nervous now. Haha. Why the heck do you think I'm here, blogging at this time?! Oh right, I blog at weird timings. Should I epilate my pits for distraction? Haha.

I need to shit.

Paper and more

Statistics paper tomorrow, for which I think I am quite prepared, except for the fact that I left one tutorial in the school network, so have to go back to school to revise. It's held in that dreaded Kent Ridge Hall, for which the stats paper last semester was held at too. Let's just say I felt a bit like a tourist in my own school on that day last semester. And I was freaking seated at the front of the whole hall! Ok, so it was the second row from the front, but still it was a bit scary.

High expectations = high pressure/stress = stretched or broken rod possibility of blank out in exam hall.

Social psychology test on Wednesday. I'm a bit freaked out.

Then I'm free! =)

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I'll admit, I was in a very bad condition these few weeks. Actually I was already in that condition before that for some reasons but the stress of upcoming exams pulled me down further. I am suffering from low self-esteem and loneliness and I suspect bordering on mild depression. It's horrible. Every time I read something related to sadness or the likes I wanted to cry. I'm still feeling that. I felt completely useless, wasted. I could not see what I was going to do with my life. In a way I am a perfectionist, in a way a high-achiever in my own world and I cannot take failure or anything along that line. I was also having mood swings despite the fact that I wasn't have my period or going to have it, for that matter. I was happy for one moment and inexplicably upset the next. I did contemplate suicide because I saw no meaning in life. I flared up over small matters or for no reason. Right now I'm on the okay side for the moment because I was reading a book titled "I am not mad!", a book which focuses on psychological issues. It's set in the local context so I could identify with it. It helped me slightly. Not to mention that I just woke up from a nice nap. Now I'm afraid that I would feel that way before the papers tomorrow and on Wednesday. It's not easy trying to keep my spirits up and now I'm seeing things differently. Where I once found no problems with looking on the bright side of things or talking myself out of moods or thinking reasonably, I am finding it very difficult right now. Maybe it's because of the additional stress with examinations and all. I wonder if my cousin noticed. =) I thought it was a bit too obvious that I couldn't give her my opinion properly these few months. Isn't it ironic that this post sounds logical, though? This is a good sign.

Please pardon me though if my posts sound melancholy and upset because this blog is a way I let out my feelings. I think it has been that way for a while, though, hasn't it? =) Thanks to all of you and my friends who kept on reading even though the sad posts must have frustrated some no end. It is your support that has kept me going. I have to keep on going. It is not me to be a pessimist or be like this. I suppose that's why it scared me really badly, no joke, and left me completely helpless as to what to do or who to turn to.

But really, really, thanks, all of you.

Toto

Waiting to be assigned the dates by Damien as to which shows to play on (and learn from) when the demand is high is a bit like striking Toto.

You give the numbers (dates) that you like and he replies the next day with a confirmation, asking you to confirm that this is your number and that yes, you'd like to go claim the prize. Only that the prize involves a lot of hard work, stress and a bit of fear.

Pearl's not playing with me on 17th December, I hope YZ is.

Teaching me a lesson

Was happily eating an ice-cream and walking home. Saw a nice black cat sitting on the grass patch. Hi kitty! So pretty! But why does it's body look like a wave? I thought.
Walked on past a little bit and happily licked my ice-cream.

Then I saw a piece of shit emerging from the cat's asshole.

It's body looks like a wave because it was squatting and was in the process of shitting. Suddenly my ice-cream didn't seem so nice.

Why do both cats and birds like to demonstrate to me how to shit?