Away to find someone

Think BIg - Quote

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

– Thomas Watson, 1960’s

Singapore Heritage Fest 2007

So after ping.sg gathering yesterday, JY and I headed to Suntec City to look at the Singapore Heritage Fest exhibition. Ok, actually it was me who really wanted to go and JY decided to go with me.

When we got there, there was a lady telling stories to a small group of kids. She was animated and entertaining, great story-teller!

lady: so who has a white bear?
cousin: (quietly to me) I have!
me attempts to pull her arm to "hand-raising" position

There are basically two areas, one is at the empty space in front of the customer service counter the moment you enter Suntec through main entrance beside Balaclava, the other is at Tropics Atrium. The first area is termed the Kids Corner or something of the likes. This is not to say there is a lack of exhibits. It is here that I found most of the interesting exhibits. Show you all some of the items there.

One of the first things we saw was a gramophone with vinyl records beside it.

Gramophone

Vinyl Records

Then I spotted these, which I thought my mother would be pleased to see:

Sewing Machine

Especially the iron, which she has told us repeatedly how she operates it. Unfortunately, the one below seems to be electricity-operated while I remember she said she used to put coals into the iron to heat it that way.

Iron

This got me super excited:

I'm not sure if it's called a trumpet or if there is another name for it. This horn obviously has no keys and different notes are produced purely by the players' pitching.

Racquets

These are from our time(!) :

Tricycle

Spitton (which cousin refused to take a picture of)

Cousin and I felt so old after that.

After which we proceeded to Tropics Atrium to look at more stuff.

I think this egg basket was in my grandmother's time. I don't remember seeing it in my era (era! knn, feel so old) anymore.

Egg basket

I have seen these and tried to play with them before. My mother vividly remembers them:

kuti-kuti

Lantern

The lantern in the past was of course lit from inside with a candle. Here it is lit with an electric bulb for exhibition purposes.

I simply had to take a picture of this because I don't even see the restaurant here anymore:

A&W glasses

There is a reason why I took a picture of this blackboard (chalkboard) :

Blackboard (please ignore the TV sticking out)

Blackboards are truly a thing of the past. It was already fading out in my late Primary / early secondary school days. My sister, 12 years younger than me, in Primary 3 has never seen one in her life, although she has seen chalk before, but that's only because we have some in our house, somewhere in the depths of the storeroom. Wrong, my sister has seen it before - in cartoons! -_-''' Erm, thank god for cartoons? I remember how there would always be the date and day on the top left or right hand corner of the board.

And I thought this might strike some as familiar:

A milo tin with handles at the top and bottom, for use in provision shops to place money in. Tin would be placed on a retractable roller of some sort or something. When not in use, it would be hanging above the heads. When needed, one only needs to pull down the tin using the handle and remove money from there then return it to its original position of hanging above.

That would be about all from me. The exhibition ends today, Sunday 29th July 2007. Do drop by to take a look. There are lots of stuff that I didn't talk about here.

Stop.Round-a-bout

It's not one step away. It's a lot of steps away. Where am I heading?

Ping.sg gathering #??

Ping.sg gathering at Miss Clarity Cafe yesterday. A lot of people were present, approximately 18 people or so. Huge group gatherings used to intimidate me and I still feel so. After a while I simply got too tired for anything, but they are seriously still a really fun bunch to be with. Haha, almost an oxymoron - "seriously" and "fun". Tired as in tired for anything, not just for ping.sg gatherings. I almost didn't turn up today because I simply felt like being alone. A confirmation with JY later on found me getting ready for the gathering.

Went first to NLB where we lost sight of each other. Went to the cafe later on to find only Miccheng, Chillycraps, Sheylara, nannywen and claudia there. The rest came in fashionably late. Tsk! =P

Ordered mud ooze, which I thought tasted fantastic but after daphne said they can't go wrong with it, I felt so sorry for enjoying the dish.

But I really liked it! The rest didn't seem to enjoy their food so much.

Cousin and I

At some point, rinaz twittered about dropping in to see us and we were looking at the ceiling, wondering which coloured table she would prefer to drop on so as to faciliate our clearing of the table to make her landing a little more comfortable.

At another point, an attempt by DK to get uzyn to pose for a ping.sg advertisement made uzyn very shy.

Uzyn with Adrian's arm

"I want DK's lap!" (I wrote this, uzyn didn't say it.)

The rest went on to Starbucks and then to Zam Zam for dinner. Read Adrian's post for those.

Cousin and I then went off to see the Singapore Heritage Fest exhibition at Suntec. Will be in next post.

attendees: Arzhou, Chillycraps, daphnemaia, dk, uzyn, simplyjean, jzin, uglyfatchick, surfslayer, miccheng, sheylara, nannywen, claudia, snowbiscuits, yuhui, ridzuan, ethan.

Some pictures here from claudia. Many thanks!

Think Big - Quote

Have faith. When you absolutely have to land that plane, there will be a runway – even if you can’t see it sometimes.

– John Hamm

Being me. Truly.

Launch of Speak Good English Movement 2007

Check this out:


Event: Launch of Speak Good English Movement 2007
Venue: Timbre - 45 Armenian Street (behind the Substation)
Time: 7 - 9 pm

Please note the Special Request at the bottom of the poster. I believe if one is going there to enjoy, one should also do his/her part by contributing.

I am tempted to drop in, not for the sake of the campaign but for the drinks, show, food and to check out the place. Sounds awesome!

Ping.sg Advertisement - Meet tstar

Is this called inspired by Cris's ping.sg advertisement v2, or is it called the ping.sg's advertisement meme originated from Cris and fire fanned by DK? Anyway, here are my 2 versions, one of which will be removed shortly after because it is a little too explicit (or lewd, kinda). Ping.sg people, if you are going to click on this link, all you will see is the normal version hor. The other one will be in another post.

Don't know why all of them either fainted, looks like got murdered or so frightened after pinging. Here is mine, extremely elated!

Thanks to Jeremy for his help in photoshopping this. I had no idea how to put the stuff together.

Here are the requirements (of non-photoshopped versions) for the advertisement, try it out if you haven't!

Size: 600 X 450 pixels
Font: Microsoft Sans Serif, 36, Strong
Font Colour: White
Phrase: Meet XXX. He/She just got Pinged. Have you?

A Ping.sg logo must always be at the top your picture because you are helping to advertise Ping.sg.

If you do not have the picture, you can right click and save image here.

Ping.sg Advertisement - The Other Version

In order to keep my blog as Safe For Work (hello, this blog was rated PG only), I have thus posted this entry, my lewd version of the ping.sg advertisement, below the actual one above.

*picture removed out of fear that somebody will digg it, tomorrow it or do something to it. If you haven't seen it, too bad. If you have seen it and saved it, I trust you not to spread it around. Well, until I'm comfortable with it, which I currently am NOT.*

No I was not naked underneath the mosiac though I really look nude. Don't ask what I was wearing. Go imagine.

I thought this picture was really funny and appropriate in accordance with my online (and offline) reputation although some well-meaning friends have told me it is better not to post it because, well, you know.

All emails and comments asking to add me to MSN or things along that line will be promptly ignored and deleted.

Oh and entry will only be here for today. I'm risking my life and my already not so nice reputation to show this so do me a favour and don't do anything stupid with/to it.

Think BIg - Quote

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

– 3M Innovation Team

Think Big - Quote

Every now and then, bite off more than you can chew.

– Kobi Yamada (from think big)

on MSN

Seen on YZ's MSN nick,

I think I'm married to school...

Lost

When you're already on the lowest edge of achieving a CAP which would qualify you for a 2nd lower class Honours, there are two things you could do, or rather, two things I can do.

1) Listen to the sensible voice in my head and take modules which will be likely to pull my CAP up, meaning modules which are plain memorization, take little effort to study and easy to score. This would likely mean modules which do not interest me.

Or, I could

2) Ignore the stupid voice and take modules that I would like to do. In the meantime also successfully pulling my grade down because those modules are usually difficult to study and more difficult to score.

However,

Since the possibility of me scoring a perfect score of 5 for the next 2 semesters is near impossible for me (I am not stupid, but I am not brilliant either), I do not see the need to score exceptionally well in any modules since any grade lying within the 2nd Lower range would still get me a 2nd Lower, thus bringing me to the conclusion that I could take whatever modules I want and to do reasonably well in them would be enough. However, because I am not brilliant, a reasonable score would mean I have to put in a lot a lot a lot a lot of effort and looking at things, it is likely that I would screw up anyway.

Sigh. I'm very tired of all these. I'm really lost. I have no goal in life, no idea what to do, no trust in myself and no courage. I don't know what I want, so I don't know what direction to go in, don't know where is right. Now I don't even think my previous dream of being a Clinical Psychologist is what I want. It does not help that my mother has told me directly that she would like me to graduate with an Honours. Is an Honours so important?

Truthfully, I cannot envisage myself holding a desk job, cannot imagine me going to office, reporting to a boss, doing work, going out for lunch as with everybody else, coming back smelling of food court and then counting down the hours to end of work. The very idea repulses me. I look at amazement and a little pity at people who are doing that. I don't understand why they are doing what they are doing, especially if they hate their jobs to the core. I look at my cousin working part-time as an accounts assistant and I am partly in awe, partly disappointed that she can also be one of them and can endure all of this. And yet, all these jobs are essential, the very things which are needed to drive an economy, a country, a society. There is nothing wrong with all these jobs, but I see them as fundamentally... restrictive. Controlling. How can people allow a job to take away their lives? I really do not understand. I don't wish for a normal job yet I am a very normal person. Can a normal person be different?

Life and mixing around with everybody is erasing the ideas I had, the trust I had, the belief and so many things. It would be nice to go back to Secondary school, JC times or in Year 1, to taste the confidence I had, once again.

I envy those who have a goal, have a dream, who knows what they are doing and what they want. Envious, jealous, respectful and very much in awe of them.

Think Big - Quote

I dare you, while there is still time, to have a magnificient obsession.

– William Danforth

Think Big - Quote

Live all you can; it’s a mistake not to.

– Henry James (from think big)

Half-awake

I had a dream last night. It was so real my heart broke into a thousand pieces and I started to cry. Was it really a dream? I cannot tell.

Last night I felt like I hardly slept. It was as if my unconscious kept my mind half awake, waiting for someone, something. I feel so silly, really. I don't know why I'm waiting. I sincerely believed I would not be disappointed, but it just made reality all the more harder to take. I don't know, am I asking for too much? Is there something I don't know? Already knowing what to do, yet not willing to. My dreams are haunting me, I had woken up confused and unable to tell dream from reality. Haha. Silly, silly me.

Random

When I stand alone, surrounded by music, I know what truly makes me happy, I know what I want. I know that I won't be abandoned by anybody but myself or a failing body.
Yet sometimes, I wish there is somebody to share that feeling with, somebody who understands what I feel inside, that ecstasy.

Think Big - Quote

If you can’t write your idea on the back of a business card, you don’t have an idea.

– David Belasco (from think big)

Save the Earth 2007 Project by Medicorp

Project by Mediacorp (known through Adrian and his team) to promote recycling includes getting people to bring their recyclable items (paper, plastic, glass, metals) down to the following collection points on the respective dates, in exchange for goodie bags.

22nd July (TODAY), 12.30pm - 6.30pm: Collection Point at SPC Telok Blangah and Jurong West

29th July (next Sunday), 12.30 - 6.30pm: Collection Point at SPC AMK and Bukit Merah

The very idea that Mediacorp has to offer goodie bags in order to encourage people to bring their things down for recycling amuses/disappoints me. Like what Adrian said, it is disappointing that we have to use such tactics to get Singaporeans down to participate. Imagine if the items of the goodie bags themselves contribute to the waste that we have, would it not be like substituting old recyclable waste with new ones? Then what is the point in all of this? Recycling is not a one time thing, it is an effort to be made over a long period of time, over the rest of our lives, our children's lives, our grandchildren's lives and it goes on. You think you have done a lot just by participating in a recycling event once? You are wrong. It is a daily thing, every single bit helps - remember that.

You know what's really funny about the project, though? There are only 4 collection points. It would be even better if there were more points around the island. Singapore isn't very big, but try lugging bags around and it becomes a very tiring chore.

On MSN - Apology

Olivia, apologizing to me on MSN,

I am very sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me.

Kids say the darnest things indeed. Adults should learn to apologize in this way. My mother have instilled the art of feeling guilty after doing something wrong in her very well.

Think Big - Quote

A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person’s brow.

– Charles Brower (from think big)

Like mother, like daughter

Mother, when family was talking about brother going for NS,

Wait he come back got muscles, I can't stand it want to touch ah! hahahahahaha!

Is it any wonder why I swoon over NS men? Like mother, like daughter.

Wrong birthday

me: Eh, Happy Birthday!
Brother: It's not today!
me: huh! Not today meh?!
Brother: Yar! It's on Monday!
me: haha, is it, haha!

Psychology Talk by SPS

The Singapore Psychological Society (SPS) organizes a public talk, The Human Brain - A Journey of Discovery.

Date: Sun, 22 Jul
Venue: NLB @ Bugis
Time: 2-3pm
Cost: $4 per person (Please proceed to lvl 5, Imagination Room, to register and make payment)
Contact: Book a place at edutalk.sps@gmail.com

What is the purpose of the talk?

The talk is a response to increasing interest by the public on what psychologist do. To increase the general public's understanding of our work and areas, SPS is bringing forward a series of talks with relevant and considerably "lighter" topics.

Why is this talk interesting?

It's about clinical psychology. Dr Donald Yeo from SGH is our guest speaker and he can provide you with excellent intro to the world of clinical psychology. (His specialised area is Clinical Neuropsychology).
You can also stay after the talk to enjoy the refreshment and to chat with Dr. Donald Yeo to learn more from him.

Who are encouraged to attend?

Everyone is welcome. Your friends and relatives can all attend.
I'm proud to invite those who are joining us in pursuing psychology to join the talk! Before you start lesson, it might be interesting to expose yourself to psychology talks to widen your horizons.
For those who ARE doing psychology now, this may be irrelevant to you, but if your friends and family are interested or want to learn more about what you are studying, they are welcomed to attend the talk!

Think Big - Quote

Don’t waste too much of the time you have left. Thinking big means creating a life we can look forward to looking back on.

– Diane Branson (from think big)

Payperpost

I think it was a couple of months back that I saw this thing called payperpost from either Adrian's or Ridzuan's blog. Basically you get paid to blog. How it works is you write an entry on your blog on certain sites/products according to the requirements of the advertiser you choose to write for. For instance, you seen an opportunity you are interested in writing about so you take it up, then they might request you to write about the site/product in a positive or neutral light, to link the site or to embed an image. I am pretty impressed because this is not one of those things where they pay you maybe 50 cents (or 0.00004 cents) per entry. They actually pay you (from what I gather) from US$5 onwards. It is sensible enough for me who don't spend too much and need whatever money I can earn. However, the type of opportunities you get (and thus the amount you get to earn) vary according to the page rank of your blog. The higher the page rank, the more you are able to pick higher paid opportunities offered.

Heh, this is actually my first sponsored post, so embarrassing. Was far too lazy to go check out my account and opportunities available.

Anyway if you are interested and do not mind making some money from your blog, take a look at it here. Oh and they pay through paypal, so you should sign up for it too.

Wah, wrote so much. I must be one of those rare ones who will write so long and actually include a link to the page rank thing and paypal for a sponsored post.

Tagged - The Four Meme

Am tagged by Nicole to do this "Four meme" thingy. Erm, ok, one of the weirdest meme I've ever done, but here it is anyway.

The Four Meme

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1) Administrative Assistant (file file and more filing)
2) Sales Promoter at Singapore Mint (yes, I sold coins. Gold, silver, copper-nickel)
3) Clerical Officer at IRAS (yes, I'm one of those irritating officers you encounter when you call them during tax filing period)
4) Eat, shit, sleep

Four places I have lived:
1) My house 1
2) My house 2
3) Grandmother's house
4) Uncle's house (was my grandmother's place but since she passed away, it is thus technically my uncle's house)

Four places I have been on vacation:
1) Thailand
2) Malacca
3) Australia
4) Bintan

Four of my favorite foods:
(I shall be really irritating here and show you all what I write in autograph books during my primary school days)
1) Porridge
2) Egg
3) Vegetables
4) Fruits

Four places I would rather be right now:
1) In bed with somebody special
2) Library
3) In bathroom, bathing, especially washing my hair because it feels like crap now
4) In concert hall

Four friends I would like to tag:
Whoever wants to do, please help yourselves.

Think Big - Quote

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

– Mohandas K. Gandhi (from think big)

Singapore Heritage Fest 2007

Singapore Heritage Fest 2007 started yesterday with the official opening at Suntec City, Tropics Atrium. I played there yesterday, that's what all the rehearsals were for.


Us at preparation the night before:

Photo courtesy of habitatnews' flickr

Yesterday.sg has an entry on the scene of preparation at Suntec. Heh, I think I saw somebody taking photos while we were putting stuff together on stage.

The festival spans over a period of a week plus, from 18th July to 29th July. There are plenty of activities available such as Fun on Foot, The Race for Singapore's Firsts!, Concert@Zouk, sharing of your interesting stories online, activities for kids and the exhibition at Suntec City's Tropics Atrium. In fact, check out some of the pictures of the exhibition taken by Walter Lim of Cool Insights or look at the many photos in flickr. Oh you can see me in the pictures there (and also the one above), the only female on stage, straight smack in the middle. So many things going on and not sure where to start? How about looking at the list of 10 Things To Do At The Festival.

In any case, do check out the website for the full list of activities available and enjoy yourselves!

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson

JY recommended it to me first, then Yanwei sent me the song. Actually it's quite a standard type of song, just that the lyrics are kind of sad.

Enjoy!

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I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Think Big - Quote

Form the habit of saying “Yes” to a good idea. Then list all the reasons why it will work. There will always be plenty of people to tell you why it won’t work.

– Gil Atkinson (from think big)

Think Big - Quote

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.
– Seneca (from think big)

I find this quote very true. There was a period of time when I was so afraid of so many things that I got fed up with myself and told myself that I will do whatever it is that I am afraid of. Confront your fears. I truly believed in it.

When I was still in XMSB, Miss Tan, our conductor used to tell us,

Just do it!

Yup, Nike's slogan. It's a great slogan.

Heh, I just gave you all 3 quotes in a day. Make up for blogging late.

Inertia

I can't remember if it was something I used to tell somebody or it was something that somebody used to tell me, but it went something like this,

Others can help to build you up, but they can also knock you down. Only you can keep yourself up.

Oh I checked. I told this to somebody after he wrote a depressing post,

If you don't help yourself, nobody can. An outsider can build up your confidence, then crush it again. Only you can maintain it.

I asked my friend the other day, 我有回头路吗? Of course, he replied. But what I do, what I did, won't it be always be there? He couldn't reply.

I asked myself, if I could, would I change anything, would I do anything differently?

No, I won't do anything differently, because this is what makes me. Because mistakes as they are, I treasure and honor them. For now I have caught a glimpse of what things could be. Anyway if I were to be able to turn back time, I would still possess the same mindset I had than, and if I have the same mindset, how am I to know how things would turn out, how am I to know what I do not want?
I am still learning, I am still in the process of knowing what I want and do not want. Unfortunately, I am immensely curious about how things will turn out if I do things the way I do. There is also a familiar sense of inertia, knowing that this is something I have to go through and at the end of it, I will understand certain things better. Yet there is also my intuition which is urging me down another path, but I cannot tell if this intuition is only another part of this inertia or a totally different thing.

And if others cannot accept what I did or am doing, I will not blame them because to each his own. If they judge me as cheap then so be it and I will remember it. But this is me and I cannot reject myself. I know it is only a matter of time.

Think Big - Quote

You have to think anyway, so why not think big?
-Donald Trump

Think Big - Quote

I just borrowed a book titled think big. It is a compilation of quotes by various people on the idea of ideas.

As such, I have decided that everyday I shall post a quote from this book. May each quote be food for thought, to give you the strength you need to go on doing what you do, or to stir up something in you.

Today's quote,

A single idea can transform a life, a family, a business, a nation, a world.
-Dan Zadra (from think big)

Be be your love - Rachael Yamagata

Lovely song.

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If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything

Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

I want to be your love, love, love

Another friend

It is weird. I hardly know him, I have never met him and I do not remember how I got to his blog, but I am glad that he has decided to blog again after the closure of his last site. There is something amazing about knowing a person online, not through chat sites or IRC, but through a person's blog. This is the second time I have added somebody I met through a blog to my MSN list and I sincerely hope we will be friends.

"No nonsense" haircut

NTT commenting on my new haircut,

Wah, you look so different with your new haircut. The kinda look all those businesswomen have, very 'no-nonsense'.

Heh. No-nonsense.

You! Get down between legs now!

Xinfony VII

Xinfony VII happened last evening. MZ, YZ, RF and Carol came to watch us. This is the first time I have played without YZ, Pearl and LY. This is also the second time I have played with Jiaxing and Zhiwei (I think) in this alumni.

I don't know how we sounded because I don't know how to listen anymore. We got through with no major mishaps, although after a few years of performance, one's idea of a "mishap" alters considerably and nothing is really a mishap anymore. If it happens, then tough luck, get over it and go on to the next note/section already. According to YZ and MZ, X-winds sounded good, better than the rest, in fact. I asked them if we sounded far too loud because even during rehearsal, Daniel our conductor, told us that the hall cannot stand our volume. However YZ said that we were loud but rich. On a personal level, I guess I screwed up some and covered most parts adequately.

I got the impression from them that they did not really enjoy the concert because of various reasons. Firstly, the band was not that good, with being out of tune, being messy and simply the disappearance of the melody. All these points to one very obvious thing, that the band is not listening to each other. If everybody were listening, they could spot being out of tune, they would know to come in together and they would watch out for the melody, lowering their volume when necessary.

I will not say that the alumni was listening to each other. When you are on stage with hundreds of eyes staring at you, combined with insufficient practices (or inattentiveness during practices), all you can pretty much concentrate on are the notes on your scores and ensuring that you do not screw up the parts you previously had no problem playing.

Everything flows, from one section to another, one note to the next, one dynamic to the other. There is a reason why musicians find themselves physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted after a concert or rehearsal. There is much to concentrate on, there is a lot of multi-tasking. (I often wonder if anybody realizes this, that musicians multi-task constantly. Once I lost the ability to listen properly, I gradually lost my ability to multi-task as well.)

The second reason they did not enjoy the concert was the fact that the pieces were all long and slow pieces, very much typical band pieces. This was a vast difference from the last concert where there were a number of pieces the audience could identify with. However, that is not to say that the pieces should be only those the audience know, or that all band pieces are long and slow. Perhaps there should have been more exciting pieces. Now I wonder if our concerts in the past were also of this genre and if the audience fell asleep while listening to us. Interesting that only 4 years after graduation do I realize the importance of engaging or entertaining the audience. I am oddly pleased, though, that the band is venturing once again into these band pieces. In my opinion, these are the pieces that truly challenge the individual player and the band as a whole.

Thirdly, there was a problem with the air-conditioning in the hall. Hall was stuffy.

Fourthly, wrong placement of percussion ensemble, featuring Mr. Pan Huei Yuan and percussionists from the Singapore Wind Symphony, in the programme, especially when great changes in instruments arrangement are needed. Gap in programme while re-arranging instruments back before X-winds went on stage resulted in audience being noisy. Not to mention that I was not exactly happy when I went on and found no stands in front of the vibraphone or the bells. My ratchet was also squashed beneath the Xylophone leg. Took the next 15 seconds to re-arrange quickly but ended up having to do some squeezing and instruments moving during the pieces itself, which is not a good visual image for the audience.

Did I mention that the alumni had to give up our seats backstage to the percussionist guest players? We ended up standing around or seating on some chairs placed around backstage. I am aware that I sound grumpy and calculating, but if I do not remember wrongly, it is the band which requested for the alumni to play in the concert because they did not have time to prepare enough pieces to cover for the whole concert. If it is as such, then I am irked that we are placed 2nd class. I am also extremely irked that the assistant band conductor referred to the guest players as VIPs - Very Important People. Alright, alright, I know, formality and politics in the real world. Fuck the real world. I suppose that the alumni are not important enough.

Ok, I am just feeling dissatisfied. Am fully aware that it is not the guest players' fault, for they are the guest players and guests should always be treated with respect.

One thing I do not fathom though. It is the band's concert, their (our) Xinfony, why do they have to invite guest players, to play an entire percussion ensemble at that. There is probably a good reason behind it, but I simply do not like the idea at all. Like what YZ said, it made things look as if the guest players were the highlight of the concert instead of the school band. But oh well, it is their era, their concert and their Xinfony.

The 5 alumni percussionists:

Biing Yih, Jiaxing, Zhi Wei, me, Bao Zhen

Yiang Shan, Man Shan and 2 other juniors joined us in playing but we were unable to take a picture with them. Many thanks to them for their help!

The uh, don't know how many generations of percussionists, all graduated:

Jiaxing, Yizhen, Rui Fang, Bao Zhen, me, Zhi Wei, Biing Yih

Saw Alvin too but he didn't drop it for the concert itself, just the rehearsal. He was saying that the band has become commercialized and running like an organization. The band members don't look happy playing. Things are happening because the teachers want it, not because the students want it, which should not be the case.

A look inside VCH. Of the many times I've played here, I have never showed you all how it looks backstage.

These are the steps to stage right:


This is how it is like, looking down from the steps:


This is Frankie:

This is how it looks like after entering the door towards backstage (i.e. the door in the 2nd picture of this series):

Shuping giving me that look

And this is how the corridor behind Shuping looks like:

Juniors thinking I am taking a picture of them

The other end leads to stage left.

This is Han Yong and Ray:

Han Yong's head is very interesting

Have I mentioned that one of our oboist came in for rehearsal wearing the no.4. I was very happy looking at the uniform. He was very exhausted though. Wondered how many girls stopped him on the way to the hall.

Am just kidding about the girls.

I was toying with the idea of just playing an ensemble with the percussionists we are close with, not too many people, just a few. No proper instruments, no practice place. Feasible?

It is nice to know that there are ways of making.... feel better.... ironic.... hurting.... punishment..... a while.... start to scratch.... sigh.

Longing

Where are you when I need you?

Sometimes I simply don't wish to be alone and I wish you were here, even for a while.
And even as I articulate it, I know I will not get my wish. For some reason, I do not have that right. So I go to bed and sleep, pretend that everything is OK and try to be happy when I wake up. One day I know things will be alright and they will be as it should be.

I am tired. Should go to bed. Good night.

Can't sleep

It is 12.38am. I have been online for a long time as usual. I don't feel sleepy and I don't think I'll be able to sleep.

Sigh. Do I have to state explicitly that I am in a not-so-desirable mood? Not to mention that I am nervous about tomorrow (today).

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Despite the fact that today is the official launch of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I have already watched the show yesterday at Cathay. If it is a sneak preview, the price, surprisingly, was the same as all other shows. The theatre was not fully filled, I believe, and the movie started on the dot, which surprised both my friend and I. We only went in about 5 minutes after it started, just in time to see some wizards and witches of the Order break into Harry's room (which of course is not what happened in the book).

Try squeezing the entire book into a 2-hour movie. What YZ said is right. One should neither attempt to re-read the book before the movie nor compare the two. A movie made from a book is but only to put an image to words, whether or not it is accurate is another story for different people have different interpretations of the story and conjure different images in their minds while/after reading. What we see on screen might be the producer/director's mental image. A movie's presentation of the story is but also limited by resources - available physical landscape, appropriate actors, time and money.

As such, I find myself unable to judge the movie as a movie at all, even if I were to try not to make a relation to its book because the keyword is "try". I find it extremely difficult not to think about the story when watching the movie. I am grossly aware of differences in landscape between what is shown and what is in my mind and I am very uncomfortable with that. I am also very aware of the many slight changes in storyline, the cutting out of areas, the adding of others, the change of where the event took place, the cutting out of long speeches, the shortening of the exciting chase and fight at the end. In the end, I feel as if the movie has not done the book justice. This book dwells a lot on the emotions of its characters and is as well a very dark book. To achieve the effect, there are a lot of things that cannot be cut out, a lot of actions that has to be fully elaborated on to be made understood the impact of it and a lot of speeches that has to be said. As I have said before, try squeezing the entire storyline into a 2 hour movie and this is what you would get. For some reason, I also found the acting grossly unsatisfactory.

I simply do not get the same sense of mystery, sadness and satisfaction from watching the movie as I do reading the book. However I will still catch the next Harry Potter movie until the end of the series. Much as I love the book and the image of it in my mind, I enjoy the thrill of seeing the place on screen and the magic being executed.

Blog Rating - (G)eneral

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Only a "G" for General Audiences? That is like saying that my blog is pure and innocent! Even DK has a rating higher than mine (at PG - Parental Guidance) and I think Chillycraps has a "R" rating. What the heck? So kids can now read my blog, but if they pick up anything bad from here, you all cannot blame me because my blog is rated G!

Hair -cut

I cut my hair, finally. It is now short, out of the way of my face, eyes and other facial organs. I am also currently less susceptible to a headache and bleeding scalp (in case somebody decides to pull my hair).

Feet in air

Somebody drew this on MSN after I told him that I feel like I'm on drugs and my feet are up in the air,

like that? hahaha

This is classic illustration of what NTT said about my blog, that it is Not Safe For Work (NSFW) because I talk about sex and genitalia.

Pain

When I get really upset, sometimes I inflict a little pain on myself. It helps in a thwarted way. Ironic, isn't it, that I who study Psychology turn to this.

The skin on the underarm is softer and easier to penetrate. The skin on the outside of your upperarm is tougher. There is more pain and it feels better if you go for your underarm since it's more direct than your upperarm skin. I don't like legs because too much flesh and the pain seems too far away.

Where do you prefer?

One day

One day you'll see, I'm only a puppet. Always have been, maybe always will be. One day you'll see, I'm not worthy. I know that day will come because you are already one step towards there. It won't take much longer, then you'll see me, only that you won't really see me. Nobody really does. I'm only myself when I'm truly alone. And what does that make a person?

Nobody.

Possible hiatus

Cousin complained to me that I am blogging increasingly lesser nowadays. I apologize for the lack of constant entries. Am experiencing writer's block. Might not blog for a while. A while means a few hours or couple of days. See how.

Might be because of my period, screw up my mind. Ok, stop blaming. I have writer's block, that's all.

I think.

I don't like liking

I don't like when things go out of control. Sure it's exciting and there is the fun of trying to get things back in order.
But I don't like it when the going out of control involves feelings for another person. There are too many uncertainties for me, too much of everything.

guy: What do you want?
me: (pause) I want to be alone, I don't want relationships.

Too much complexity, too much to understand, too much to take. It's like a system overload. I don't understand why people want this complexity and vulnerability.

My mind is saying one thing, my heart is doing another.

Can anybody handle me at all?

One-liner

I don't know what the fuck I said on stage at ping.sg 1st anniversary party.

Upcoming concert - Xinfony VII

It is a full week before XMS's concert next week. I have been (sort of) practicing for a couple of months but I am really not ready. Reason being that the past practices I was never serious. Somehow the concert always seemed far away and I did not feel the need to take things seriously. I have improved and learnt more today about the pieces and my part than I have ever learnt in the past 2 months. This is really really bad. Is it possible for me to miraculously master my part in 1 week with maybe a day of practice? It is virtually impossible for me to get my hands on a xylophone until concert day itself.

Alright, a little publicity.

Xinmin Secondary Symphonic Band will be having its annual concert, Xinfony VII, this coming Friday, 13th July. For some reason we always get weird dates. I remember there was once the concert was held on National Day. National Day, for goodness' sake! Anyway I'll be playing in the alumni band, X-winds, and we will be taking control of the 2nd half of the concert. I have no idea what time the concert starts except to guess that it is probably in the evening around 7.30pm. Similarly, I do not remember how much the tickets cost except that it is above $10. What I know for certainty is that we are playing in Victoria Concert Hall (VCH), as we have done so for as long as I remember.

I am not sure what the main band is playing, but they have an impressive 7 song repertoire (around there, plus minus 2). The alumni will be playing Bugler's Holiday, Jericho, 童话.

Ha, some publicity!

Anyway if anybody is interested to come (despite the lack of information) and pressurize me so that I will screw up my parts and enjoy yourself laughing at me after that, please contact me. I would love to know that you are in the audience, watching my every move.

Lookalike

I was looking at the Classifieds a few days back when I came across something for the 2nd time, grinned wildly at it and was reminded that I have to blog about this.

This is Uzyn, founder of ping.sg:

Apologies for small picture. The following was found in the Classifieds:

Uzyn's lookalike! Who, despite having poor grades, still looks quite happy. I have a feeling this is really how Uzyn looks like when he's young.

So Uzyn, poor grades?

Conversation

me: I feel like I'm making use of you.
him: I know. You have always been doing that.
me: Then... how can you allow yourself to be made use of?!
him: Because it's you. And because it's an everyday thing.

Today

May I drop over at your place? I asked. He said yes, I may, and told me the time he would need to leave. So I told him I will drop by if I can make it. I prepared my stuff, brought the book, took a shower, took a look at my ingrown toe nail and then finally left the house. Traveling would take about an hour which should technically give me an hour with him before we both need to leave to do our own stuff. An hour would be too much, I decided, don't want to impose on him. I headed for NTUC but could not find the biscuits I was looking for. I boarded the train. Few minutes later I received a SMS from him, he said he has to leave earlier, a full 45 minutes earlier than the time he has told me. I would reach the place exactly the time he would leave his house. Er then I probably won't reach in time. It's ok then. I replied. I wondered if I should get off the train.

I reached, sat and watched people skating for 45 minutes then sat outside McDonald's for the next half an hour.

Messy tables

In reply to YZ's post on how messy her table is, a friend comments

don't worry too much.

my table's so messy i can't find it. =D

Year 2 for 3 semesters

Was doing the Module Preference Exercise (MPE) today. It is a system where FASS students state what FASS modules we would like to take and we would be pre-allocated those modules whose supply (number of seats available) is more than demand (number of people who wants the module). Since supply is usually never more than demand in Psychology, I do not usually get pre-allocated modules.

The first page after I sign in tells us the details of the exercise. At the bottom it states that one will only be promoted to the respective course code only if one obtains the minimum number of MCs.


Thus for me, I would need a minimum of 80MCs to technically be a year 3 student. Unfortunately, a failed module last semester rendered me 4 MCs short of being promoted to Year 3. Therefore in the eyes of NUS, I am still a year 2 student.

Note the ARS2.

Not only that, but I am a Year 2 semester 1 student. If I pass all my 6 modules this semester, I would jump directly to Year 3 semester 2, which means that I would never have year 3 semester 1 on my records, unless of course I fail another module this semester, go on to Year 2 sem 2 and then in my 4th year be termed as a Year 3 sem 1 and then if I pass everything, skip all the way to Year 4 sem 2.

I find it quite hilarious. Imagine somebody asking me which year I am in now.

Well, I have been in NUS for 2 years and this is my 3rd year, but technically I am still a Year 2 student in her 1st semester of studies.

In a way I have just went back an entire year. After the initial panic, a calmness settled over me. For some reason, it is like I have dropped out of the race (or falling back, whichever you prefer) and there is a sudden lack of pressure and rush from the race against my other course mates. It is comforting.

Happy Birthday

Happy 1st Birthday, ping.sg!

Empty

No matter how things are,








they'll end up like that.







Just like that.

Empty.

Way Back Into Love - soundtrack from Music & Lyrics

Thanks JH for this recommendation. Awesome.

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I've been living with a shadow over head
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me decide again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Brotherly... love

Friend JH was trying to arrange his resume on a screwed computer which has no Microsoft Word, had a hard time doing it, got fed up and decided to borrow his brother's laptop.

Thump Thump Thumping says:
ahhaha i just screwed him

Thump Thump Thumping says:
He said why

Thump Thump Thumping says:
I said BECAUSE I SAID SO

I asked what his brother replied.

Thump Thump Thumping says:
he cannot say anything
I'm older

Thump Thump Thumping says:
hahahah
roarrr

So I asked if he's going to take it from his brother.

Thump Thump Thumping says:
I told him to bring it upstairs

Thump Thump Thumping says:
I'm way tooo lazy to go down and take it from him

Thump Thump Thumping says:
I'm powerful

Stephanie says:
I'm going to blog abt this

Thump Thump Thumping says:
wooot

Thump Thump Thumping says:
now I feel so naked
lol
I'll ask him to get me water as well later

Thump Thump Thumping says:
Ok I was kidding on that last one

I have the sensation of reporting a piece of tabloid news.

Drawing on MSN; revenge on some pingsters

It was only last night that I learnt from my sister (who is 12 years younger than me) that I can use the drawing tool on MSN. Weird, the last time I tried, I had to install something. In any case, I was so elated that I started drawing in my conversation with LY.

l i u y i n * says:
...........

l i u y i n * says:
you dont know?!

Stephanie says:
so cool
Stephanie says:
yeah

l i u y i n * says:
you crazy lah

Stephanie says:
last time i cannot one

Stephanie says:
only recently can

l i u y i n * says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Then I happily proceeded to continue drawing.

l i u y i n * says:
.......
l i u y i n * says:
STEPH

She was sincerely getting very exasperated with me, so I decided to cheer her up a bit.


Plus since I was on a roll, I decided to do some revenge on some people in ping.sg for very nicely paraphrasing my twitter from

On my way home. $24 richer, a lot more tired physically, mentally and emotionally.

to

I'm so shagged and tired and I only earn S$24!

I was on the way home after having met both Arzhou's and Ridz's parents, both in one night, within a span of 2.5 hours, to do SURVEYS.
Tsk, these people's minds!

So they, especially ECL, had a very good time ruining my (already ruined) reputation in the shoutbox last night and since ECL said it was DK who read out the message, I decided to start from him first.


DK was very adamant.

DK says:
*^*&@*&%@&^

and said that it was ECL who paraphrased it. Because I don't have ECL on MSN, here it is for her when she reads.


Might as well bonk keropokman.